Humor
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Two dwarfs decide to treat themselves to a vacation in Las Vegas. At the hotel bar, they're by two hookers,and wind up takind the to their separate rooms. The first dwarf is ...
These are not DARWIN Award Winners, but they are pretty close...
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he
lacked "intellectual leadership". He received a ...
Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to
some tracks. The first blond said "These look like deer tracks,"
and the other one said, "No, they look like moose ...
FELIX THE FLYING FROG, a Parable About Modern Management
Once upon a time, there lived a man named Clarence who had a pet
frog named Felix. Clarence lived a modestly ...
COMPUTER PROVERBS
1. Home is where you hang you're @.
2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single ...
SPAM HAIKUS
1.
Blue can of steel
What promise do you hold?
Salt flesh so ripe
2.
Can of metal, slick
Soft center, so cool, moistening
I yearn for your ...
TEMPERATURE OF HELL
This is forwarded from a graduate of the University of Oklahoma School of
Chemical Engineering Dept. Citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test
questions ...
21 Very Short Books
1) A Guide to Arab Democracies
2) A Journey through the Mind of Dennis Rodman
3) Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean
4) Career ...
10 WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST, BUT SHOULD:
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION ...
OXYMORON LIST (April 1998)
(Oxymoron - - an epigrammatic witty, often paradoxical effect, by which contradictory terms are used in conjunction)
50. Act naturally
49. Found ...
REMEMBER WHEN....
A computer was something on TV
from a science fiction show.
A window was something you hated to clean
and RAM was the cousin of a goat.
MEG was ...
Two men are in a locker room. One notices the other has a cork in
his rectum. He says, "How'd you get a cork in you rectum?"
"I was walking along the beach and I tripped over ...
IMAGINE IF INSTEAD OF CRYPTIC, GEEKY TEXT STRINGS,
YOUR COMPUTER PRODUCED ERROR MESSAGES IN HAIKU...
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
- ...
Please ready the following survey titled "Are you a Man?"...
1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin ...
Jesus joined a threesome on the first hole. The drive had to be hit
over two small lakes to reach a green surrounded by sandtraps.
Jesus said "OK, I'll do this one. If Palmer ...
"My friend," said St. Peter to the recently deceased, "you did lead
an exemplary life on earth-but there is one instance of your taking
the name of The Lord in vain. Would you ...
A man asks his wife the following questions after a long discussion
about her life if he were to die before her.
Husband: "Honey, if I were to die before you, would you ...
Jesus, Moses and God were out playing golf one day. Jesus teed
off first, and the ball flew straight over the fairway, landed in the
green and rolled to within a couple feet of ...
A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through and he would meet them at the ...
There were three men drinking in a bar, a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a fur ...
Frequently Asked Questions for Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
...
Tips for Northerners moving South
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how
to use it.
2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or ...
Interesting but mindless trivia ...
Did you know that.....?
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
...
COMPUTER, POWER STRIP I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not ...
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