The Manbottle Library
The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  Survey

Survey


Please ready the following survey titled "Are you a Man?"...


1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:

a) lovemaking

b) screwing

c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town



2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship

b) your blood-test results

c) five tequila slammers



3. You time your orgasm so that:

a) your partner climaxes first

b) you both climax simultaneously

c) you don't miss SportsCenter



4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

a) healthy, creative love-play

b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to

c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about



5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with > is:

a) the best part of the experience

b) the second best part of the experience

c) $100 extra



6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last > month. You tell her that it is:

a) no concern of yours

b) not a problem - she can join your gym

c) a conservative estimate



7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

a) a myth

b) an oxymoron

c) a moron



8. Foreplay is to sex as:

a) appetizer is to entree

b) priming is to painting

c) a queue is to an amusement park ride



9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

a) "I hope we can still be friends."

b) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."

c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."



10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy

b) is uptight and a waste of time

c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place



If you answered ‘A' more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

If you answered ‘B' more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused.

If you answered ‘C' more than 7 times, call me up. Let's go drinking!



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