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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed ...
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A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look
out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I
built that fence stone by ...
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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Drinking on the Job
While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the
premises, there are some good arguments for changing that policy.
Reasons for ...
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1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all! 2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT! 3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when ...
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My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a ...
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Dr. Seuss on Aging
I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh, my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell ...
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Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe. Larry was a truck ...
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Childrens Book Titles You'll Never See
You Were an Accident
Strangers Have the Best Candy
The Little Sissy Who Snitched
Some Kittens Can Fly!
The Protocols of the ...
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It may be hard to believe how times have
changed in the last 100 years.
"100 Years Ago"
The average life expectancy in the United States
was forty-seven.
Only 14 ...
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If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer...
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and
start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on ...
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black ...
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FUN THOUGHTS
1. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. I doubt, therefore I might be.
4. ...
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Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't:
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
...
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