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The day after losing his wife in a diving accident,
a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska
State Troopers.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. ...
Viewed 6 times
The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his
company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked,
"If you could have a ...
Viewed 6 times
IS THAT LOGICAL?
Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and
thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to
see the counselor, ...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
Viewed 5 times
Martha's way #1:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The Real Women's Way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom ...
Viewed 5 times
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change ...
Viewed 5 times
The Amish and Elevators...
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by
almost everything they saw, but especially two shiny, silver walls in the ...
Viewed 5 times
Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money
...
Viewed 5 times
A penguin is taking a trip when his car suddenly breaks down.
Luckily for him, he finds himself just down the street from a
mechanic. So he pushes his BMW to the shop and asks ...
Viewed 4 times
By an anonymous Trekkie. 10. Noisy doors. You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding ...
Viewed 4 times
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...
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A blonde was hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee.
Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and
hurried to a nearby coffee ...
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Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend ...
Viewed 4 times
GOOD:
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 10-year-old boy
was standing up the road with a hand ...
Viewed 4 times
"If he thinks I'm calling myself Mrs. Phooey he's got another think coming.
He's done daft things before but this takes the dog biscuit."
- Danielle Brett, upon learning that ...
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Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive,
gender neutral, ...
Viewed 4 times
Patient: "Huh? What? Where am I?"
Nurse: "You're in the hospital. You've been in a coma."
Patient: "How long was I in a coma?"
Nurse: "Ten years"
Patient: "Wow... ...
Viewed 4 times
The following pseudo-mathematical proof was posted to rec.games.board:
What about this:
We know that women like two things, your time and your money,
therefore...
women ...
Viewed 4 times
Q What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out ...
Viewed 4 times
A man calls home to his wife and says, Honey I have
been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with
my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a
week.
...
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George W. Bush quotes:
"Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it."
"It's one thing about insurance, that's a Washington term."
"I think we ...
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In the seventh century, Queen Etheldrida of Northumbria developed a throat tumor, which she regarded as divine punishment for her life of extravagance. Before her death, she ...
Viewed 4 times
TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA:
10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper
9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron
8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there ...
Viewed 4 times
Cowboy Wisdom
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole ...
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