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You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if:
1. You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
2. Your company welcome sign is ...
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Who wrote the Christmas song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"?
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:
10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
9) Duct tape won't fix that
8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's
...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer
guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the
problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...
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They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The
storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched
her jump.
She looked across the ...
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Steve Allen, Renaissance Man:
...describing Allen as a comedian is like describing Leonardo da Vinci
as a "painter." Like Leonardo, Alien is a Renaissance man. Besides being ...
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One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man
of the world. She was an innocent bride with no experience. After the wedding
they left for their ...
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Phases of Life for an IT Professional Phase 1: As a Junior Programmer you're in awe of how smart your superiors and colleagues are. Phase 2: As a Mid-level Programmer you ...
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A woman went into a pet shop to buy her husband a pet. After looking
around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. She
went to the counter and questioned the ...
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A policeman on horseback is at a traffic light and next to him is a kid on
his bike. The policeman smiles down at the kid and says, "Nice bike you
got there. Santa bring that ...
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Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right.
Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime ...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, ...
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Because you're old enough now to know what REALLY happened...
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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a ...
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* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"
* Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
* Why is a ...
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Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president?
The original statements:
Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...
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Tom Clancy: "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
Steve Martin: "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? ...
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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
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API - Time Magazine reports an interesting case of high-tech graffiti. It
seems that a couple of Intel engineers working on the design of a recent
version of the Pentium ...
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When the immigrants landed in America the land of opportunity, where
it was said the streets were paved with Gold they found out three
things.
1. The streets were not paved ...
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An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and
chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.
As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next ...
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