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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally he decided the animal was old, and ...
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MICROSOFT VIRGIN
Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three
Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?
Her first husband was in Training, and ...
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It's "Let's pick on men instead of blondes" time...
What do you call a handcuffed man?............Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath ...
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WORDS OF WISDOM
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's ...
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These quotes were taken from actual performance evaluations:
"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig."
"His men would follow him ...
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President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an
administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope was
sent to hell.
The Pope explained the ...
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Some WIN95 humor....
Bill Gates dies in a car accident.
He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not ...
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Microsoft complies with "truth in advertising" requirements...
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Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing... yet.
Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52... F-16... B-1...
Q: What is the Taliban's national ...
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Have you ever wished you could remember Norm's greetings on Cheers?
1. "What's shaking Norm?"
"All four cheeks & a couple of chins."
2. "What's new Normie?"
...
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and the moral of the story is.....
One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of story and then conclude with the moral of that story. ...
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10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you
asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these
problems; my arthritis is acting up, my ...
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100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a ...
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Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies... not really good ...
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Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home
reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and
demonstrated with her hands, the ...
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After all those jokes about from the Boomers, finally here is one
for those folks in between.
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...
1. You ...
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WHERE DO CONSULTANTS GO WHEN THEY DIE?
There once was a consultant who lived her whole life without ever taking advantage of any of the people she worked for. In fact, she made ...
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Did you hear about the new 3 Million dollar Arkansas State lottery?
The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.
++++++++++++++
What does a divorce in ...
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A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to his bedside his three closest advisors: his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer. "I know," he says, they say 'you can't take ...
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Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to
her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!
Dear Mr. Baker:
As a graduate of an ...
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Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
...
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When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your
nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy
businessman learned this the hard way after ordering
his nurses around ...
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Tom Clancy: "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
Steve Martin: "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? ...
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