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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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Michael Jackson describes his September 11th experience in the March issue of Vibe... "I was in New York (after performing at Madison Square Garden on Sept. 7 and 10), and I got ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. ...
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Better than Nostradamus? <IMAGE>
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AND WE WONDER WHY GOOD HELP IS HARD TO FIND!
Can you imagine working at the following Company? It has a little over 500
employees with the following statistics:
29 have ...
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A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility.
However, each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant
aware of his predicament, suggested he ...
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Things You Should NEVER Say When Stopped by the Police!
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't ...
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YOU'RE PROBABLY AGE 25-35 IF...
You wore anything Izod, especially those windbreakers that folded up into a pouch you could wear around your waist.
You owned a Jordache ...
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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed ...
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I once was on a plane where I was served by an obviously homosexual
male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was
sitting and announced "The Captain has ...
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THOU SHALT NOT SKIM FLAVOR FROM THE HOLIDAYS
By Craig Wilson, USA TODAY
I hate this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the ...
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This is a rather large guy I know who typed these observations from an airplane... ok this is the up date from the airplane. ya ya i know you aint supposed to use the internet from ...
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While watching March Madness, my wife and I got into a conversation About life and death and the need for living wills. During the course of the conversation, I told her that I ...
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The Pope is visiting DC and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on
the Potomac... sailing on the pres. yacht, the Sequoia. They're admiring the
sights when, all of a ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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You know when you are "all growed up" when... 1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You ...
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Martha's way #1:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The Real Women's Way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom ...
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First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing"
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around ...
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An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her
husband's sex drive. "What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.
"Not a chance," says Mrs. Murphy. "He ...
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'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team by Shawn D. Lewis / The Detroit News ( http://detnews.com/ ) Waterford - Pilots named Jack, beware. Minutes after a boarding ...
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