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Alaska Accident

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The day after losing his wife in a diving accident, a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. ...

100 fun ways to order pizza

Viewed 8 times
100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a ...

48 phrases we wish we could say at work

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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for ...

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

Viewed 5 times
1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all!  2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...

Anger Management

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Computer Geek Trivia

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When engineer David Bradley said "I may have invented it, but Bill Gates made it famous", to what was he referring?

Mental Health Hotline

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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline... If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If ...

Dave Berry's Rules to Live By

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"19 Things That Took Me 50 Years To Learn" By Dave Barry 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in ...

Men Jokes

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It's "Let's pick on men instead of blondes" time... What do you call a handcuffed man?............Trustworthy. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath ...

Tips for Northerners moving South

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Tips for Northerners moving South 1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it. 2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or ...

Michael Jackson Jokes

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You knew these were coming… What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Willie Shoemaker? Willie Shoemaker DOES have a license to ride 4 year olds. I Got a new car ...

25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up

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1.  Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2.  Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3.  You keep more food than beer in the ...

Some of My Favorite Christmas Carols...

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"Rudolph the Reindeer with an Inner Ear Infection"  "Away in a Drunk Tank"  "Here We Come A-Wassailing, Whatever the Hell That Means"  "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Infected"  ...

10 things I hate about Star Trek

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By an anonymous Trekkie.  10. Noisy doors.  You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding ...

Why?

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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why ...

Adam's Mistake

Viewed 4 times
THE LOST CHAPTER OF GENESIS: Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to ...

Life 2

Viewed 4 times
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not ...

Slogans

Viewed 4 times
At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." Sign over a gynecologist's office "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." At a military ...

Cat Carrier

Viewed 4 times
Cat Carrier

Computer Upgrade

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computer upgrade

Circle Flies

Viewed 4 times
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try ...

In-flight Safety

Viewed 4 times
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that ...

Lack of Tact

Viewed 4 times
Tact Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, ...

Another true blonde story...

Viewed 4 times
The Baltimore Police Department, famous for it's superior K-9 unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident. Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her ...

 

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