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10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:
10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
9) Duct tape won't fix that
8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's
...
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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer
guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the
problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...
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News services are reporting that Osama bin Laden has been captured by U.S.
Special Forces.
In a covert operation, the entire country of Afghanistan was sprayed with
Viagra ...
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I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I
think it is fun to decide what one would do.
The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a ...
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Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: ...
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I've been amusing myself coming up with Taliban "secret weapons", including mobile AA guns mounted on camels and "stealth horses" with pillows tied round their feet. However, I'm ...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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Douglas Adams Quotes...
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no
account be allowed to do the job.
In the beginning the Universe was ...
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The top 20 thinnest books
20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr.
19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit
18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...
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( We take you now to the Oval Office... )
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: ...
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Don't really know much about this clip. But the dog's name is Tyson. And he's very cool.
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My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned...
couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
but I just couldn't hack it, ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car
with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer
at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) ...
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They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The
storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched
her jump.
She looked across the ...
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Next time you find yourself running dry on interesting tidbits of
conversational matter ...
Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law:
"After having ...
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Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a
redhead, and one's a blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks
if she has any ...
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
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1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a single one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer or wine in the fridge. ...
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John Cleese was recently asked on American TV what he thought the
differences between the English and the Americans were.
In reply he said that there were three differences: ...
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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...
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