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Anger Management

Viewed 39 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Take five minutes and chuckle

Viewed 24 times
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

12 Rules for Life

Viewed 19 times
Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...

Raunchy One Liners

Viewed 19 times
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you. What's the ...

Thinking Outside The Box

Viewed 17 times
You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is ...

Redneck Luxuries

Viewed 16 times
Redneck Swimming Pool...
Pool Redneck Yacht... Yacht

Brave Dog

Viewed 15 times
brave dog

10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say

Viewed 15 times
10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say: 10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex" 9) Duct tape won't fix that 8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's ...

'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team

Viewed 14 times
'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team  by Shawn D. Lewis / The Detroit News ( http://detnews.com/ )  Waterford - Pilots named Jack, beware.  Minutes after a boarding ...

Wine vs. Water

Viewed 13 times
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...

Puns for Intellectuals

Viewed 13 times
1. Two vultures boarded a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess stops them and says "sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger." 2. NASA recently sent a ...

Quote

Viewed 13 times
Who originally said... "My greatest wish is that none of my children become lawyers."

A dictionary for software engineers

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A dictionary for software engineers: Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work." Beta: Software ...

A Redneck Christmas

Viewed 13 times

CALIFORNIA WARNIN'

Viewed 13 times
CALIFORNIA WARNIN' BY THE FEDS AND THE COPPERS The bridges are at risk Said Governor Grey He brought out the Guard to watch them all I think they're gonna stay ...

The Doctor's Office

Viewed 12 times
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...

God as a Computer Programmer

Viewed 12 times
Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer.  Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...

10 things I hate about Star Trek

Viewed 12 times
By an anonymous Trekkie.  10. Noisy doors.  You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding ...

30 Things Never to Say to a Naked Man

Viewed 12 times
30 Things Never to Say to a Naked Man 1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahhhh, it's cute. 3. Why don't we just cuddle? 4. You know they have surgery to fix ...

20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus

Viewed 12 times
20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. While he's in the ...

Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers

Viewed 12 times
20) Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95. 19) Fetch command not available on all platforms. 18) Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side. 17) Too ...

It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman...

Viewed 11 times
On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...

Things that sound dirty at Christmas...

Viewed 11 times
But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...

 

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