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MacGregor the Fence Builder

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A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by ...

Better with age

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Strange Therapy Sessions A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual ...

Words of Wisdom 2

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1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either. 2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as ...

Thanksgiving Dinner

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Thanksgiving Dinner Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've ...

Haircut

Viewed 8 times
A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...

Old Sex

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An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together ...

Barbie's letter to Santa

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Dear Santa:  Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid ...

Good Advice From Grandpa

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I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the internet, but from a mentor, and on a ...

Wal-Mart Wine

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PLANT CITY, FL - Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item - Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J ...

Quote of the week 7

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"But we're not homophobic... we are compassionate towards anyone who wants to try and give up that kind of lifestyle." - The Rev Dr. Glenn Davies, rector of St Luke's, Sydney, ...

At the Doctor's Office

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A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and ...

The Best Chain Letter a Woman Will Ever Get

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The Best Chain Letter a Woman Will Ever Get This chain letter started in the hopes of bringing relief and happiness to tired housewives. It has, however, expanded its usefulness ...

The Fly

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There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since his last meal, he flew down and began ...

How to Call the Police

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George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. ...

Cow Watch - 2002 (Update 2-26-2002)

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Fugitive Cow Finally Captured The bovine escapee who eluded Cincinnati's finest for 12 days is finally behind bars tonight. It took the SPCA, three decoy cows, and two shots ...

Ever wonder what Michael Jackson was doing on 9/11

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Michael Jackson describes his September 11th experience in the March issue of Vibe...  "I was in New York (after performing at Madison Square Garden on Sept. 7 and 10), and I got ...

A Moral Question

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I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I think it is fun to decide what one would do. The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a ...

Rudoph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer

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Who created the character of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer"? (Hint - it wasn't Gene Autry.)

Rooster

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A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens ...

Forest Gump goes to Heaven

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Heavenly Entrance Exam The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, ...

Engineers

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Two engineers were standing in the park. One had a new bike. The other said, "Nice bike. How much?" The first said, "It was free." The other asked, "Wow, how did you get it for ...

Report card

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A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their ...

King Arthur

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King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt...except it had a rather large hole in the most ...

Clinton's New Dog

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As most of you already know, former President Clinton's dog Buddy was killed when he ran out in front of an automobile. A nationwide search is underway to find a replacement for ...

 

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