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Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

Anger Management

Viewed 8 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Capitalism and Cows

Viewed 7 times
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

Jesus is watching you

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed ...

MacGregor the Fence Builder

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A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by ...

Mental Health Hotline

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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline... If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If ...

Drinking on the Job

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Drinking on the Job While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the premises, there are some good arguments for changing that policy. Reasons for ...

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

Viewed 5 times
1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all!  2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...

Take five minutes and chuckle

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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Laws of Physics

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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have  to pee. Law of the  Workshop: Any tool, when ...

Little Sister

Viewed 5 times
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a ...

Dr. Seuss on Aging

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Dr. Seuss on Aging I cannot see I cannot pee I cannot chew I cannot screw Oh, my God, what can I do? My memory shrinks My hearing stinks No sense of smell ...

Larry Walters, Lawn Chair Pilot

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Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe.  Larry was a truck ...

Childrens Book Titles You'll Never See

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Childrens Book Titles You'll Never See You Were an Accident Strangers Have the Best Candy The Little Sissy Who Snitched Some Kittens Can Fly! The Protocols of the ...

Redneck Horseshoes

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redneck horseshoes

Cat Carrier

Viewed 5 times
Cat Carrier

100 Years Ago

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It may be hard to believe how times have changed in the last 100 years. "100 Years Ago" The average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven. Only 14 ...

Computer Upgrade

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computer upgrade

If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer

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If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer... If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on ...

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black ...

Thoughts

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FUN THOUGHTS 1. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. I doubt, therefore I might be. 4. ...

Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Golf But Aren't

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Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't: 10. Nuts...my shaft is bent 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker ...

 

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