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A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years.
The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore.
The new guy and the wife are ...
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For high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did
not learn in school. In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good,
politically correct ...
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Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 ...
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What a difference 30 years makes:
1972: Long hair
2002: Longing for hair
1972: The perfect high
2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund
1972: KEG
2002: EKG
...
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1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed ...
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20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. A hard-on doesn't ...
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TOP 20 SAYINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE ON THOSE OFFICE INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS:
* Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by
killing all those who opposed ...
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A woman wants the inside of her house painted, so she calls a contractor
In to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors
she wants. She says, "Now ...
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Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest ...
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There were two old boys from Alabama who loved to fish. They wanted to do some ice fishing that they'd heard about in Canada, so they took off to try it. The lake was frozen ...
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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He ...
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Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. ...
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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a ...
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A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a long hard look at herself. "You know, dear, she says, I look in the ...
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Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to ...
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A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV,
and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."
She looked a little puzzled, but ...
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A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"
What type of bra?" asked the ...
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While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle in
the sand and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and
with a smile said ...
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Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else around here knows HOW to change a light bulb! They ...
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I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have
decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an eight
year-old again.
I want to go to ...
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Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to
people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that
homosexuality is an abomination according to ...
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FRIENDSHIP POEM
For those tired of the usual "friend" poems, here is a touch of reality.
* When you are sad... I will get you drunk, and help you plot revenge
against the ...
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It may be hard to believe how times have
changed in the last 100 years.
"100 Years Ago"
The average life expectancy in the United States
was forty-seven.
Only 14 ...
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