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GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED
1. Raising teenagers is like nailing JELLO to a tree.
2. There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take
time to look ...
Viewed 12 times
100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a ...
Viewed 10 times
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a
desert. Although it had no significant value, Congress said. "Someone
may steal from it at night."
...
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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...
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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one ...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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I read this article that said typical symptoms of stress are eating too
much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they
kidding? That is my idea of a ...
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Don't really know much about this clip. But the dog's name is Tyson. And he's very cool.
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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a ...
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Finally, a definition of Marketing that makes sense....
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic
in bed." That's Direct Marketing.
...
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his
office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck
passed too close and completely tore ...
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The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?", I submit the following:
Michael Jordan makes over $300,000 a game. That = $10,000 a minute, at an ...
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The world was stunned by the news this morning of the death of the
Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the
death occurred at approximately 8:24 AM. ...
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Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 ...
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An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first ...
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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
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Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a
redhead, and one's a blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks
if she has any ...
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Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right.
Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime ...
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Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft
Picard: Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your
attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And
Mr. Data, have you been able to access ...
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
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As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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