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LITTLE JOHNNY ON... PHILOSOPHY:
A Teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
He replies, "None, they ...
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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...
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1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what ...
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. ...
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Michael Jackson describes his September 11th experience in the March issue of Vibe... "I was in New York (after performing at Madison Square Garden on Sept. 7 and 10), and I got ...
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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young
mothers and their small children, "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, ...
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SHE WAS SO BLONDE THAT....
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here", she ...
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Top ten reasons God created Eve:
10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in
the garden because men hate to ask for directions.
9. God knew that Adam would one day ...
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Harmless? If you always thought those little green garden snakes were O.K., read on:
Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple in ...
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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one ...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend,just as I've done. I don't care if you lick ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...
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The New Pope Ratzinger was not the first choice for Pope. As I understand it, Ratzinger was not the Cardinals first choice. Interestingly, they were considering Cardinal Hans ...
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True bravery is a guy arriving home late after a boy's night out, being assaulted by his wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "You still cleaning, or are you gonna be ...
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I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important
information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the
internet, but from a mentor, and on a ...
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After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple's multimillion dollar home, and since ...
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How Many Dogs/Cats Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole
lives ahead of us, and you're inside ...
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Here are some funny typos and grammatical errors from medical documents:
* The patient is a 15-year-old male who struck a wall because he was angry with his left hand.
* I ...
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When engineer David Bradley said "I may have invented it, but Bill Gates made it famous", to what was he referring?
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I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in
front of a pickup truck. The guy had to drive on to the shoulder to avoid
hitting the woman. This ...
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Who says aeronatuical engineers don't have a sense of humor.
Page 46 of Lockheed Martin's F-35 computer middleware presentation
* Theory is when you know everything and ...
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Sister Margaret had been a model nun all her life, but then she was called
to her reward. As she approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter said "Hold
on, Sister Margaret... not ...
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