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The day after losing his wife in a diving accident,
a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska
State Troopers.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. ...
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THE LOST CHAPTER OF GENESIS:
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.
So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have
anyone to ...
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AND WE WONDER WHY GOOD HELP IS HARD TO FIND!
Can you imagine working at the following Company? It has a little over 500
employees with the following statistics:
29 have ...
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For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
See if they can do it again.
For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask them how they did it and ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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Why Condoms Come In Packages
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to
walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" To ...
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It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 ...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely, so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. ...
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Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the ...
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1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what ...
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As a TEXAN I thought I would share a few of the things I have learned in my 30 years of living in this Heaven on Earth located South of the Red River and North of the Rio Grande. I ...
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Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president?
The original statements:
Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...
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A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who immediatley comes over to her. When he arrives, she seductively ...
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A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day,
enjoying his chance to get some sun. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman
walks by and stops. "You poor man," ...
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Adult One Liners
Q: What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: What ...
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Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight
safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that ...
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A father spoke to his son, "It's time we had a little talk, my son. Soon, you will have urges and feelings you've never had before. Your heart will pound & your hands will sweat. ...
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Monica Lewinsky decided to trim up. So she went to a plastic surgeon.
She told the doctor she wanted to lose the love handles. The doctor told
her if he performed the operation ...
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A blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there's a "peel and win"
sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming,
"I've won a motorhome! I've won a ...
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Heaven is when you have…
an American salary
a British home
Chinese food
a Swiss economy
an Italian body
Japanese technology
an African tool
an Indian wife ...
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Our pastor tells a story (that he swears is true) about a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard, but couldn't be coaxed down. The tree was too thin to climb, so the pastor ...
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"When we yelled 'Sacrifice the chocolate rabbit' they jumped out of their parked cars and started to circle us. They were praying hard. It was really chaos."
- High Priestess ...
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