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Larry Walters, Lawn Chair Pilot

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Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe.  Larry was a truck ...

No arms and no legs

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A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day, enjoying his chance to get some sun. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman walks by and stops. "You poor man," ...

Anger Management

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Little Sister

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My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a ...

Hu's on first

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( We take you now to the Oval Office... ) George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: ...

Stupid Horse

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A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish ...

Klingon software development team

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Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon on your software development team: 10) Behold, the keyboard of Kaylis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever ...

Bill Gates dies in a car accident

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Some WIN95 humor.... Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not ...

The Doctor's Office

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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...

Boys

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You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...   1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.   2.) If you spray ...

New virus alert

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Just wanted to warn everyone there's a new virus -code name is "Work." If you receive "Work" from your colleagues, your boss, or any one else, do not touch "Work" under any ...

Computer Problems

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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...

Pfizer

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Pfizer Corp is making the announcement today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use "as is", or ...

Dr. Seuss on Aging

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Dr. Seuss on Aging I cannot see I cannot pee I cannot chew I cannot screw Oh, my God, what can I do? My memory shrinks My hearing stinks No sense of smell ...

Nice Sweater

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CDW is currently running a contest to find the best IT story. They have narrowed the field down to 14 finalists. This one is my personal favorite. (The rest are online at

T-shirt Slogans

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1. "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod) 2. "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old) 3. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to ...

If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer

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If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer... If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on ...

Calling in Sick

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Calling in Sick Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion I had a ...

Andy Rooney

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from Andy Rooney  On Ads In Bills:  Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk ...

Are you a prostitute or a software consultant...

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Are you a prostitute or a software consultant… 1. You work very odd hours. 2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. 3. You are paid well

Cowboys

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Two cowboys were leanin up against the rail at their favorite bar. They're tired and worn out from a long day, havin a couple of longnecks, just relaxin and talkin, watchin ...

Life in the 1500's

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Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and were still smelling pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried ...

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black ...

One Liners 2

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If you're a kleptomanic, take something for it. I hope I die quietly in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in horror like his passengers. "Very funny, Scotty. Now ...

 

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