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Alaska Accident

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The day after losing his wife in a diving accident, a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. ...

Barbie's letter to Santa

Viewed 6 times
Dear Santa:  Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid ...

College letter

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Dear Mom and Dad: It has been four months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness. I will bring you up to date now, ...

Tips for Northerners moving South

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Tips for Northerners moving South 1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it. 2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or ...

Nigerians Impeach Too

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By Nathaniel Ikyur KANO-FORMER governor of old Kano State, Alhaji Abubakar Rimi's political stronghold in Kano suffered a setback yesterday after his close associate and speaker ...

Philosophy 101

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Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumor. In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the ...

Sick Joke

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A drunk goes into a bar. He is very, very drunk - can hardly stand up. He slurs his way up to the bar and says: "Hey, bartender! Gimme a martini!" "No, no," says the ...

Mental Health Hotline

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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline... If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If ...

100 Years Ago

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It may be hard to believe how times have changed in the last 100 years. "100 Years Ago" The average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven. Only 14 ...

Another true blonde story...

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The Baltimore Police Department, famous for it's superior K-9 unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident. Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her ...

25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up

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1.  Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2.  Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3.  You keep more food than beer in the ...

At last, the perfect Christmas card

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Dear recipient, Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender ...

Alabama Traffic Stop

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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets  pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than  the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...

TO ALL THE KIDS BORN in the 50's

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First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.  They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get ...

Lockheed F-35 JSF

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Who says aeronatuical engineers don't have a sense of humor. Page 46 of Lockheed Martin's F-35 computer middleware presentation * Theory is when you know everything and ...

Boot Camp

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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...

New Study

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A study in London showed that the kind of "male face" a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is ...

Ever wonder what Michael Jackson was doing on 9/11

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Michael Jackson describes his September 11th experience in the March issue of Vibe...  "I was in New York (after performing at Madison Square Garden on Sept. 7 and 10), and I got ...

Politically Correct Holiday Wishes (with warrantee)

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Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, ...

Thanksgiving Mistake

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Mrs. Ashley telephoned the headquarters of the infantry near Great Oaks, her ancestral home. "This is Mrs. Chauncey Ashley the Third, and with Thanksgiving coming up, I thought ...

No arms and no legs

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A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day, enjoying his chance to get some sun. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman walks by and stops. "You poor man," ...

The Gift 2

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The Gift A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of ...

If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer

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If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer... If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on ...

 

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