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Breaking News

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News services are reporting that Osama bin Laden has been captured by U.S. Special Forces. In a covert operation, the entire country of Afghanistan was sprayed with Viagra ...

Cave Symbols

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A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance. 1. A dog 2. A ...

A Moral Question

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I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I think it is fun to decide what one would do. The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a ...

New Element Discovered

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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium  (symbol=Gv), has one ...

Anger Management

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

The Americans

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Note: The following editorial was written by the late Gordon Sinclair in 1973. Although some details have changed since then, the basic sentiments still remain true ...

Consultant Humor

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WHERE DO CONSULTANTS GO WHEN THEY DIE? There once was a consultant who lived her whole life without ever taking advantage of any of the people she worked for. In fact, she made ...

100 Years Ago

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It may be hard to believe how times have changed in the last 100 years. "100 Years Ago" The average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven. Only 14 ...

Steve Allen

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Steve Allen, Renaissance Man: ...describing Allen as a comedian is like describing Leonardo da Vinci as a "painter." Like Leonardo, Alien is a Renaissance man. Besides being ...

John Cleese

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John Cleese was recently asked on American TV what he thought the differences between the English and the Americans were. In reply he said that there were three differences: ...

The Real Bush Theory on Iraq

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President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks over and says, Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here? Bush says, "We're planning the next ...

Instructions

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Instructions

Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than...

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"Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman" 1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. 2. Christmas trees don't get mad ...

MEN'S 43 RULES FOR WOMEN

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MEN'S 43 RULES FOR WOMEN 1. It is only common courtesy that you should leave the seat on the toilet UP when you are done. 2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be ...

Dog Fight

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If only it were this easy... Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would ...

Osama bin Laden and the 72 Virgins

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After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, George Washington greets him: "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells ...

Wanna hear a blonde joke

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A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know ...

Blonde went to her mail box. . .

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A blonde went to her mail box several times before it was even time for the postman to make his rounds. A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was ...

Nerds Forever

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The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?", I submit the following: Michael Jordan makes over $300,000 a game. That = $10,000 a minute, at an ...

Two Dwarves

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Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression ...

Taliban Secret Weapons

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I've been amusing myself coming up with Taliban "secret weapons", including mobile AA guns mounted on camels and "stealth horses" with pillows tied round their feet. However, I'm ...

 

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