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A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look
out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I
built that fence stone by ...
Viewed 9 times
Dear Santa: Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid ...
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1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make
as ...
Viewed 8 times
A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...
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Michael Jackson describes his September 11th experience in the March issue of Vibe... "I was in New York (after performing at Madison Square Garden on Sept. 7 and 10), and I got ...
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Strange Therapy Sessions
A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The
doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual ...
Viewed 7 times
Fugitive Cow Finally Captured
The bovine escapee who eluded Cincinnati's finest for 12 days is finally
behind bars tonight. It took the SPCA, three decoy cows, and two shots ...
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An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small
tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the
first time we had sex together ...
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A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the
intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this ...
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A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens ...
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There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a
pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since
his last meal, he flew down and began ...
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Thanksgiving Dinner
Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm
telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart
won't be coming, I've ...
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I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important
information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the
internet, but from a mentor, and on a ...
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PLANT CITY, FL - Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item - Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J ...
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I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I
think it is fun to decide what one would do.
The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a ...
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"But we're not homophobic... we are compassionate towards anyone who
wants to try and give up that kind of lifestyle."
- The Rev Dr. Glenn Davies, rector of St Luke's, Sydney, ...
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Who created the character of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer"?
(Hint - it wasn't Gene Autry.)
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The Best Chain Letter a Woman Will Ever Get
This chain letter started in the hopes of bringing relief and happiness to tired housewives. It has, however, expanded its usefulness ...
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Two engineers were standing in the park. One had a new bike. The
other said, "Nice bike. How much?" The first said, "It was free." The
other asked, "Wow, how did you get it for ...
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Lesson 1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When ...
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If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
There is always a way.
The easy way is always mined.
...
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George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife
told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see
from the bedroom window. ...
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A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs
on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches
and says, "We don't serve beer to ...
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How to settle the 2000 Presidential Election:
Ok, Folks. I've given the people in Florida plenty of time to get this
election finished. Now It is my turn:
#1: Al Gore ...
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