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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black ...
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100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a ...
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Ya know, just make up your own joke here...
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API - Time Magazine reports an interesting case of high-tech graffiti. It
seems that a couple of Intel engineers working on the design of a recent
version of the Pentium ...
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Don't really know much about this clip. But the dog's name is Tyson. And he's very cool.
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10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:
10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
9) Duct tape won't fix that
8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's
...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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Douglas Adams Quotes...
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no
account be allowed to do the job.
In the beginning the Universe was ...
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20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. A hard-on doesn't ...
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How Old Do You Feel?
To get an idea of the lives of those entering college this fall, read on......... and try not to laugh...............
1. The people who are starting ...
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I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely, so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. ...
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You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if:
1. You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
2. Your company welcome sign is ...
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1. Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to his place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. They pet for ...
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My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a ...
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When engineer David Bradley said "I may have invented it, but Bill Gates made it famous", to what was he referring?
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president?
The original statements:
Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...
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The weather in Afghanistan tomorrow is expected to be sunny in the
morning with increasing mushroom clouds in the afternoon. The
temperature looks to be a moderate 2000 degrees ...
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They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The
storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched
her jump.
She looked across the ...
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Quote of the week
"I think he's got quite the balls to open up a store nude.''
- Toronto city councilor George Mammoliti, referring to store owner
Malcolm Scott's practice ...
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TODDLER PROPERTY LAWS
1. If I like it, it's mine..
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine..
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine..
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's ...
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