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To ensure we Americans never offend anyone - particularly fanatics intent on killing us - airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random ...
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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when ...
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They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The
storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched
her jump.
She looked across the ...
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One of the best examples of how ridiculous government paperwork can be is
illustrated by a recent case in Louisiana. A company president was trying to
buy some land in ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with
the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:
Love may be beautiful, love may be ...
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1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going ...
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Little Johnny and Susie are only ten years old, but they're sure they're in
love and decided they wanted to get married.
Little Johnny bravely approached Susie's father and ...
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Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe. Larry was a truck ...
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Bill Clinton, Al Gore and George W. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River, looking across at the promised land.
The Archangel Michael was ...
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Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight
safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that ...
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An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his
boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip,
the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred ...
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Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: A tick falls off you when you die.
Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: When you see your ...
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Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner
with God. During dinner He told them: "I need three important people
to send my message out to all ...
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COMPUTER PROVERBS
1. Home is where you hang you're @.
2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single ...
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Drinking on the Job
While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the
premises, there are some good arguments for changing that policy.
Reasons for ...
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Blonde Riding
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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Man Foils Armed Robbery with Tin of Sauerkraut
BERLIN (Reuters) - An elderly German man thwarted armed robbers by throwing a tin of sauerkraut at them, police said on Friday.
...
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An actual email sent by an office manager during a recent remodeling…
from: Mari H.
to: ALL
subject: Quiz
1. The remainder of the panels, worksurfaces, etc. in ...
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Thanksgiving Dinner
Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm
telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart
won't be coming, I've ...
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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went ...
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A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Alabama recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, ...
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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...
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