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English Language

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REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS DIFFICULT TO LEARN 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it ...

Cat Haiku

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You never feed me. Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. That will sure show you. I need a new toy. Tail of black dog keeps good time. Pounce! Good dog! Good dog! ...

Are you a prostitute or a software consultant...

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Are you a prostitute or a software consultant… 1. You work very odd hours. 2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. 3. You are paid well

Bathroom Graffiti

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BATHROOM GRAFFITI: "To some it's a six pack, to me it's a support group." "The poor folks in Arkansas won't be celebrating Thanksgiving this year, they sent their turkey to ...

Seminars

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SEMINARS FOR FEMALES (prepared and presented by males) 1. Elementary Map Reading 2. Crying and Law Enforcement 3. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR 4. You ...

MS Virgin

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MICROSOFT VIRGIN Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin? Her first husband was in Training, and ...

Three Breasts

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God Created Women. God created woman and she had 3 breasts. He then asked the woman, "Is there anything you'd like to have changed?" She replied, "Yes, could get rid of ...

Beer, Fishing, Golf, and Sex

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A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out ...

Airplanes vs. Women

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Sixteen reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women: 1) Airplanes usually kill you quickly, a woman takes her time. 2) Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a ...

Peace of Mind

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The doctor, who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life, finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines ...

Blonde Joke 6

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A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and ...

Famous Quotes on Sex

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Tom Clancy: "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Steve Martin: "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? ...

Cool Things About a Car that Goes Faster than the Speed of Light

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15. Sleep 'til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am! 14. Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green. 13. Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states. ...

Windows NT wallpaper

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NT fire

Patriotic Duty

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Patriotic Duty

The Doctor's Office

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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

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1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all!  2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...

Mexican Food

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Texan cowboy stopped at a restaurant in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.  Not only did it look good, ...

New virus alert

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Just wanted to warn everyone there's a new virus -code name is "Work." If you receive "Work" from your colleagues, your boss, or any one else, do not touch "Work" under any ...

Before it starts...

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A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but ...

17 reasons why alcohol should be served at work

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1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It leads to more honest communications. 3. It reduces complaints about low pay. 4. Employees tell management what they think, not what ...

New Taglines

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Here are some new taglines collected from various dark corners of the Internet... Mary Shafer of NASA Ames has said, "Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't ...

Blonde in a Hailstorm

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A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw ...

Balance

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Place of Balance Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired ...

 

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