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Anger Management

Viewed 24 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm

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A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar that ...

The Book of Leviticus

Viewed 17 times
Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to ...

Twelve bugs of Christmas

Viewed 13 times
For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me See if they can do it again. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me Ask them how they did it and ...

Take five minutes and chuckle

Viewed 12 times
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Cat Carrier

Viewed 12 times
Cat Carrier

It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman...

Viewed 7 times
On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...

TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA

Viewed 7 times
TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA: 10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper 9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron 8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there ...

Capitalism and Cows

Viewed 7 times
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

New Element Discovered

Viewed 6 times
An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium  (symbol=Gv), has one ...

Are you a prostitute or a software consultant...

Viewed 6 times
Are you a prostitute or a software consultant… 1. You work very odd hours. 2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. 3. You are paid well

Redneck Luxuries

Viewed 5 times
Redneck Swimming Pool...
Pool Redneck Yacht... Yacht

'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team

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'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team  by Shawn D. Lewis / The Detroit News ( http://detnews.com/ )  Waterford - Pilots named Jack, beware.  Minutes after a boarding ...

Raunchy One Liners

Viewed 5 times
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you. What's the ...

Abe and John - Weird

Viewed 5 times
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was ...

The Doctor's Office

Viewed 4 times
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...

God as a Computer Programmer

Viewed 4 times
Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer.  Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...

You know you're a Floridian if...

Viewed 4 times
You know you're a Floridian if... Socks are only for bowling. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes. A good parking place has ...

An Elephant's Memory

Viewed 4 times
Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

Viewed 4 times
1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all!  2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...

Apple Computer Announcement

Viewed 4 times
Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 ...

Vatican Bathroom

Viewed 4 times
Fathers Pietro and George are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.  Father Pietro looks at the other priest's equipment and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on the ...

Alabama Traffic Stop

Viewed 4 times
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets  pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than  the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...

Dear Abby Letter from 'Moody' Lady

Viewed 4 times
Dear Abby: My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns ...

 

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