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Ralph and Edna

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Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the ...

George W. Bush Quote

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The quote below is from an MSNBC.com article. The article was talking about his address to Congress tonight (Thursday 9/20/2001). According to the article, Bush made this ...

A dictionary for software engineers

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A dictionary for software engineers: Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work." Beta: Software ...

Lewinsky Kaczynski Contest

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This is from a contest on Long Island. The requirements were to use the two words Lewinsky (the Intern) and Kaczynski (the Unabomber) in a limerick. Here are the three winners: ...

Embarrassing Moments 2

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Oh balls... I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was ...

Wine vs. Water

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As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...

We'll go forward

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from the Miami Herald September 12, 2001 by Leonard Pitts We'll go forward from this moment It's my job to have something to say. They pay me to provide words that ...

The Americans

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Note: The following editorial was written by the late Gordon Sinclair in 1973. Although some details have changed since then, the basic sentiments still remain true ...

Lawyer Jokes

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The post office just recalled their newest stamps: they had pictures of lawyers on them...and the people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. How are an apple and a ...

Revenge

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"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a ...

Happy Halloween

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Happy Halloween A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted ...

Florist

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A local florist just went out of business, but it was his own fault. He kept getting his orders mixed up. One woman received flowers sent by her husband, who was at a business ...

Skateboarding Dog

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Don't really know much about this clip. But the dog's name is Tyson. And he's very cool.

Alaska Accident

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The day after losing his wife in a diving accident, a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. ...

Poor Maria

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Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children. Soon after the last child is born her husband dies. A few weeks later she remarries and over the following ...

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

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HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2) ...

Just turned 50...

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Just turned 50... A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police. Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow ...

If you steal a car, don't drink the yogurt...

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Thursday January 4 7:50 AM ET Car Thieves Drink HIV-Infected Blood RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - Two members of a gang of Brazilian car thieves may have drank vials of ...

Rape Drug Used on Men

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Warning: Rape Drug Used on Men PLEASE READ THIS, IT'S IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer ...

10 Questions Not To Ask During A Job Interview

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Top 10 Questions You Should Never Ask When Being Interviewed For A Job : 1. What's your company's policy on severance pay? 2. How long does it take your company's ...

POLITICALLY CORRECT

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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY He is not a BAD DANCER - He is RHYTHMICALLY ...

Lying

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Bill Clinton was walking along the White House fence when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. ...

Spoiled food

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HOW TO TELL WHEN YOUR FOOD IS SPOILED ====================================== Whether you are a mom who cooks for many, a bachelor who cooks on rare occasions for himself, ...

 

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