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Twelve bugs of Christmas

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For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me See if they can do it again. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me Ask them how they did it and ...

Anger Management

Viewed 24 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Take five minutes and chuckle

Viewed 19 times
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Cat Carrier

Viewed 15 times
Cat Carrier

The Book of Leviticus

Viewed 13 times
Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to ...

Little Johnny (about his dad)

Viewed 9 times
It's the first day of school and the teacher thought she'd get to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living. The first little girl says: ...

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm

Viewed 9 times
A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar that ...

Osama bin Laden and the 72 Virgins

Viewed 8 times
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, George Washington greets him: "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells ...

10 Questions Not To Ask During A Job Interview

Viewed 7 times
Top 10 Questions You Should Never Ask When Being Interviewed For A Job : 1. What's your company's policy on severance pay? 2. How long does it take your company's ...

Further proof that the human race is doomed

Viewed 6 times
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods... 1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do ...

Taking the wife to the Rodeo

Viewed 6 times
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times ...

12 Rules for Life

Viewed 6 times
Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...

TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA

Viewed 6 times
TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA: 10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper 9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron 8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there ...

Raunchy One Liners

Viewed 6 times
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you. What's the ...

Blonde Joke 15

Viewed 6 times
A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee a sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of her cup and finds a peal off prize. She pull off the tab and yells, "I WON! I WON! I ...

Capitalism and Cows

Viewed 6 times
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

Viewed 5 times
1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all!  2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...

Wine vs. Water

Viewed 5 times
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...

A Good Pun Is Its Own Reward

Viewed 5 times
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.  A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.  A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.  My wife really ...

The Best Resignation Letter Ever

Viewed 5 times
Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards! Dear Mr. Baker: As a graduate of an ...

...walks into a bar

Viewed 5 times
Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." A sandwich walks into a bar. ...

For those of you who watch what you eat

Viewed 5 times
Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer ...

25 Proverbs to a Healthier Life

Viewed 5 times
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going ...

 

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