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The other morning I took a pair of underwear out of the drawer.
"What the hell?" I said to myself as a little "dust" cloud appeared
when I shook them out.
"Jeanette," I ...
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The Texas preacher rose with an angry red face. "Someone in this
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is
a horrible lie and one which a ...
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THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 bourbon
35 vodka
48 double vodka
66 Maalox
AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17
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A LITTLE REFLECTION ON LIFE AS A MALE
When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with large breasts.
When I was 16, I dated a girl with large breasts, but there was no
passion. ...
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the ...
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I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important
information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the
internet, but from a mentor, and on a ...
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Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to
her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!
Dear Mr. Baker:
As a graduate of an ...
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A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look
out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I
built that fence stone by ...
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"19 Things That Took Me 50 Years To Learn" By Dave Barry
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in ...
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A young couple, just married, was in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his ...
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Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right.
Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime ...
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A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the
second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks
nothing of it and is about to ...
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An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first ...
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Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day ... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of ...
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Dear Abby:
My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a
mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood
it turns ...
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A business owner in Texas was confused about paying an invoice minus the
early payment discount, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help. He called her ...
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Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how
nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and
without an argument go ...
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Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program
shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and
12-paragraph disclaimer notice ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The
doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me
back a sample tomorrow."
The ...
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Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet. -Robin Williams
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as ...
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