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Speeding Ticket Stories

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GOOD: A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 10-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand ...

Jesus and the redneck

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The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and ...

Haircut

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A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...

Quote (2)

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Who said "A sewer worker is like a brain surgeon. We're both specialists."

Mental Health Hotline

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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline... If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If ...

A redneck, a sheep, and a dog

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A redneck, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, they got into the habit of ...

Top Eight Sex Jokes

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# 8 A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man. "6 shots?!? ...

Capitalism and Cows

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

NASA

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When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade ...

Why Computers Crash

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Abort, Retry, Ignore? by: Anonymous Works Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, ...

Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

30 Years

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What a difference 30 years makes: 1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund 1972: KEG 2002: EKG ...

Why dogs are better than wives

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1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you. 2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. 3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. ...

Blonde Joke 7

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A blonde is going on her first trip overseas. She drives all the way to Miami to apply for a passport. In the passport office, the government official sees that she is visibly ...

Message for the Manager

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A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who immediatley comes over to her. When he arrives, she seductively ...

'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team

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'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team  by Shawn D. Lewis / The Detroit News ( http://detnews.com/ )  Waterford - Pilots named Jack, beware.  Minutes after a boarding ...

Police Not Amused by Breakfast Prank

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Friday January 26 12:27 PM ET Police Not Amused by Breakfast Prank DALLAS (Reuters) - A police dispatcher who tasted something funny when she bit into a breakfast tortilla ...

Embarrassing Moment

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OB-GYN - Most Embarrassing Moment This is a laugh for all those women out there (and the men who love them) who so look forward to that wonderful time once a year when they ...

Blonde Joke 11

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The police academy instructor was conducting an in-class survey, questioning three blonde female officers who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in ...

George W. Bush Quotes

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George W. Bush quotes: "Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it." "It's one thing about insurance, that's a Washington term." "I think we ...

Ethnic Survivor

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Note: In case you were wondering, our current policy on ethnic humor is available on the manbottle library website: http://www.manbottle.com/ethnic.htm - editor

The Newlywed Game

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Note: Unlike many such things, this really is a true story. You can hear the audio clip at http://www.snopes2.com/radiotv/audio/newlywed.rm Just think, where would we be

Questions & Answers

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QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS: Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? A: They take the psycho path. Q: What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? A: "Dam!" ...

What you didn't learn in school

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For high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did not learn in school. In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good, politically correct ...

 

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