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YOU KNOW YOU'RE LIVING IN THE YEAR 2002 WHEN...

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1. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is because they do not have e-mail addresses. 2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 3. ...

Breasts

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The Difference Between Women With Small Or Large Breasts WOMEN WITH BIG BREASTS... ..can get a taxi on the worst days ..have a neat place to carry spare change ...

Anger Management

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Laws of Physics

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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have  to pee. Law of the  Workshop: Any tool, when ...

Presidential Quotes

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What US president once said "It is a good thing I am not a woman, as I would always be pregnant, for I cannot say no"

Red Coats

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A long time ago, Britain and France were at war (so, what's new in this regard?). During one battle, the French captured an English Major. Taking the Major to their ...

Things I MUST remember when I come back as a dog...

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1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 3. I will not roll my toys behind ...

Redneck Horseshoes

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redneck horseshoes

Cat Carrier

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Cat Carrier

The Book of Leviticus

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Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to ...

Mexican Food

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Texan cowboy stopped at a restaurant in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.  Not only did it look good, ...

Doctor's Examination

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A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, found it somewhat below ...

Old Age

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A little old man shuffled slowly... into an ice cream parlor. He pulled himself slowly... painfully... up onto a stool... After catching his breath... he ordered a ...

Comments

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A gastroenterologist/proctologist claims that these are actual comments made by his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies: 1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly ...

Before it starts...

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A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but ...

Divine Interventions

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I don't usually links to other websites, but when I stumbled across this one while wandering the outer fringes of the Internet, I knew I had to make an exception... (Be ...

Hollywood Squares 2

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Here are some quotes from Hollywood Squares Game Show in the 70's, when game show's responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now. God bless Paul Lynde, Rose ...

Embarrassing Moment

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OB-GYN - Most Embarrassing Moment This is a laugh for all those women out there (and the men who love them) who so look forward to that wonderful time once a year when they ...

Blonde Joke 9

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There was a blond bowling team and a brunette bowling team and they rented a double decker bus to take them to the bowling alley. The blond team sat in the upper level, and the ...

100 Years Ago

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It may be hard to believe how times have changed in the last 100 years. "100 Years Ago" The average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven. Only 14 ...

Computer Upgrade

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computer upgrade

Ethnic Survivor

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Note: In case you were wondering, our current policy on ethnic humor is available on the manbottle library website: http://www.manbottle.com/ethnic.htm - editor

Jesus and the redneck

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The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and ...

Leper advantages

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Top ten advantages of being a leper: 10. No one notices if you're not wearing the latest fashion. 9. It's easy to get rid of door-to-door salesman. 8. No makeup is ...

 

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