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Sixteen reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women:
1) Airplanes usually kill you quickly, a woman takes her time.
2) Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a ...
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All stessed out?
Sometimes it helps to think of happy scenes. Maybe a pastoral field, a
field with a babbling brook.
You're there on a lovely summer's day......holding ...
Viewed 6 times
A little old man shuffled slowly...
into an ice cream parlor.
He pulled himself slowly...
painfully...
up onto a stool...
After catching his breath...
he ordered a ...
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Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive,
gender neutral, ...
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Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to
people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that
homosexuality is an abomination according to ...
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Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer. Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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April 1st
1778 Oliver Pollock, creates the dollar sign.
1863 The first wartime conscription law goes into effect in the United States.
1865 At the Battle of Five Forks, ...
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Dear Santa: Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid ...
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Here are some quotes from Hollywood Squares Game Show in the 70's, when
game show's responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are
now. God bless Paul Lynde, Rose ...
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There was a blond bowling team and a brunette bowling team and they
rented a double decker bus to take them to the bowling alley. The blond
team sat in the upper level, and the ...
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A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the
trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general
began to throw his weight around to try ...
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There is no arguing with cowboy logic. A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote ...
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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed ...
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A long time ago, Britain and France were at war (so, what's new in this
regard?).
During one battle, the French captured an English Major. Taking the Major to
their ...
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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally he decided the animal was old, and ...
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George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife
told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see
from the bedroom window. ...
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Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?
A - Almost Boobs
B - Barely there
C - Could do with a little more
D - Damn good
DD - Damn - Double Delight
E ...
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It's the first day of school and the teacher thought she'd get to know the
kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living.
The first little girl says: ...
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A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day,
enjoying his chance to get some sun. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman
walks by and stops. "You poor man," ...
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Sipping Vodka
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The
monsignor replied,"When I am ...
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Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. There is, however, a dark secret about this "comedy" you may never have realized. The island is a direct ...
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THINGS YOU CAN'T SAY WITH A HALLMARK
"Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder: What the f_ck was I thinking"
"Congratulations on your ...
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