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Phases of Life for an IT Professional Phase 1: As a Junior Programmer you're in awe of how smart your superiors and colleagues are. Phase 2: As a Mid-level Programmer you ...
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THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERNER SAY:
Duct Tape won't fix that.
Wrasslin's fake.
No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe.
Lisa Marie was lucky to ...
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The problem with some people is that when they aren`t drunk, they`re sober. -William Butler Yeats An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with ...
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Who wrote the Christmas song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"?
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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Adult One Liners
Q: What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: What ...
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These are things people actually said in court, word for word:
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Eve
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A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps
into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow ...
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When you get ads in your phone or utility bill, include them with the payment. Let them throw it away.
When you get those pre approved letters in the mail for everything from ...
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Have you ever wondered where the phrase "You gotta be sh*ttin' me" came from? Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of the USA.
Way back, George ...
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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...
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As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding
bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull
mated 50 times ...
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MessageContributed by: Deborah Twonames
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of
Tampax and proceeded to the check-out counter.
The man at the ...
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A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know
what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The
4-year-old nods his head in ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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Stevie Wonder was one of the performers at this year's Presidential Gala at
Ford's Theater. Evidently George W. Bush is a big fan. The Washington Post
reported that President ...
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A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look
out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I
built that fence stone by ...
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The following pseudo-mathematical proof was posted to rec.games.board:
What about this:
We know that women like two things, your time and your money,
therefore...
women ...
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HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car
with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer
at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) ...
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4/1/2001
San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge to officially become the TransAmerica
Bridge.
by contributing editor April Olfos
(SAN FRANCISCO-UPI) The city of San ...
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The Gift
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday
and as they had not been dating very long, after careful
consideration, he decided a pair of ...
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Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage!
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, ...
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