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48 phrases we wish we could say at work

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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for ...

Computer Problems

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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...

Cleaning Problems

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DEAR TIDE LAUNDRY DETERGENT: I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it since the beginning of married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. ...

Giving up wine

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I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, ...

Skateboarding Dog

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Don't really know much about this clip. But the dog's name is Tyson. And he's very cool.

Inventions

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A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture. The Greek said, "We have the Parthenon." The Italian said, "We have the Coliseum." ...

Dog Dancing

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Disco Dog Dancing at its finest…

Lockheed F-35 JSF

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Who says aeronatuical engineers don't have a sense of humor. Page 46 of Lockheed Martin's F-35 computer middleware presentation * Theory is when you know everything and ...

Boot Camp

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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...

New virus alert

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Just wanted to warn everyone there's a new virus -code name is "Work." If you receive "Work" from your colleagues, your boss, or any one else, do not touch "Work" under any ...

James Bond walks into a bar...

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A very confident James Bond walks into the English bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a ...

Husband Jokes

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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. ...

If Bush get's elected, I'll leave the country...

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Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president? The original statements: Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...

Man Bakes Fireworks, Blows Up Kitchen

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Thursday July 5 1:43 PM ET Missouri Man Bakes Fireworks, Blows Up Kitchen KANSAS CITY, Mo. (Reuters) - Fireworks hidden in a Kansas City man's oven turned out to be a ...

Things NOT to say to the nice police officer

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Things NOT to say to the nice police officer: I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. ...

Brave Dog

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brave dog

Bush quote

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Before the election, Bush was asked by Oprah Winfrey if he worried about what other people think of him. He replied... "I care what 51 percent of the people think of me."

Christmas Shopping A Survivor's Guide

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- Gifts for Children - This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want. They spend months and months ...

Redneck Limo

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Recently spotted on eBay...
redneck limo

New Design

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I think this new design deserves some thought...
New World Trade Center

A year without Santa Claus, the untold story...

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Because you're old enough now to know what REALLY happened...

Christmas Lights

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Merry Christmas...

Anger Management

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

3 AM

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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the ...

 

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