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Santa's Little Helpers

Viewed 16 times
I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

Lying

Viewed 9 times
Bill Clinton was walking along the White House fence when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. ...

Automotive Acronyms

Viewed 9 times
AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence BMW Beautiful Mechanical Wonder BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer CHEVROLET Cheap, Hardly Efficient, ...

Redneck Luxuries

Viewed 7 times
Redneck Swimming Pool...
Pool Redneck Yacht... Yacht

20 thinnest books

Viewed 7 times
The top 20 thinnest books 20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr. 19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit 18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...

Metrics

Viewed 6 times
USEFUL METRIC CONVERSIONS 1 million microphones: 1 phone 1 million phones: 1 megaphone 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds 10 ...

Nerds Forever

Viewed 6 times
The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?", I submit the following: Michael Jordan makes over $300,000 a game. That = $10,000 a minute, at an ...

Tales of the Non-Technology Inclined

Viewed 6 times
COMPUTER, POWER STRIP  I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not ...

Twelve bugs of Christmas

Viewed 6 times
For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me See if they can do it again. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me Ask them how they did it and ...

10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer

Viewed 6 times
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my ...

Little Johnny (on sex)

Viewed 6 times
LITTLE JOHNNY ON SEX Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of sex ...

A Redneck Christmas

Viewed 6 times

It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman...

Viewed 5 times
On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...

Apple Computer Announcement

Viewed 5 times
Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 ...

Things that sound dirty at Christmas...

Viewed 5 times
But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...

Alabama Traffic Stop

Viewed 5 times
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets  pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than  the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...

Computer Problems

Viewed 5 times
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...

Songs for those over 40

Viewed 5 times
Carly Simon - You're So Varicose Vein The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly ...

Husband Jokes

Viewed 5 times
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. ...

Osama bin Laden and the 72 Virgins

Viewed 5 times
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, George Washington greets him: "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells ...

MacGregor the Fence Builder

Viewed 5 times
A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by ...

Probably a true story...

Viewed 5 times
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Although it had no significant value, Congress said. "Someone may steal from it at night." ...

Comprehending Engineers

Viewed 5 times
Some of you have voiced that Engineers are a different breed....Perhaps the following will help you understand us..... Comprehending Engineers - Take One Two engineering ...

GREAT TRUTHS

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GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED 1. Raising teenagers is like nailing JELLO to a tree. 2. There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look ...

 

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