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Reindeer

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According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the ...

Wine vs. Water

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As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...

Call Girl

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I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely, so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. ...

Police Use Helicopter for Doughnut Run

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Monday October 8 7:14 AM ET Police Use Helicopter for Doughnut Run ALBUQUERQUE (Reuters) - An Albuquerque policeman and his pilot face disciplinary measures after using a ...

Excel 97

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Here's a new excel Feature which is realy cool. Try it. 1) On a new worksheet, Press F5 2) Type X97:L97 and hit enter 3) Press the tab key 4) Hold CTRL-SHFT 5) Click ...

Cats and Physics

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[The following question was originally posed by Steven Wright.] Question: If you strapped a slice of buttered bread to the back of a cat, which way down would it land? [Well, ...

An Elephant's Memory

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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...

Giving up wine

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I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, ...

Joke of the Day

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An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first ...

Why Life is Easy for Men

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Your ass is never a factor in a job interview Your orgasms are always real Your last name stays put The garage is all yours Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow ...

'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team

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'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team  by Shawn D. Lewis / The Detroit News ( http://detnews.com/ )  Waterford - Pilots named Jack, beware.  Minutes after a boarding ...

How to find bin Laden.

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The CIA has a new tactic. It is following Jane Fonda - she has been dating the guy for six months.

Jesus and the redneck

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The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and ...

Life's Mathematics

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Life`s Mathematics  ROMANCE MATHEMATICS  Smart man + smart woman = romance  Smart man + dumb woman = affair  Dumb man + smart woman = marriage  Dumb man + dumb woman = ...

Three Labrador Retrievers

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Three Labrador Retrievers - a brown, yellow and black - are sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they strike up a conversation. The black lab turns to the brown ...

THE DOG

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A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again.  He walks over to the dog, and notices ...

20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex

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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX: 1) You can GET chocolate. 2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 3) Chocolate ...

Blonde jokes 2

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Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blond said "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No, they look like moose ...

A Real Cowboy

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An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next ...

Redneck Limo

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Recently spotted on eBay...
redneck limo

25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up

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1.  Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2.  Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3.  You keep more food than beer in the ...

TO ALL THE KIDS BORN in the 50's

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First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.  They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get ...

Take five minutes and chuckle

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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Special Day!

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Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day.  Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend,just as I've done.  I don't care if you lick ...

 

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