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If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a ...
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GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either
with us or ...
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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
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A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains ...
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Q: How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis, I mean ladder.
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have ...
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You know you're a Floridian if... Socks are only for bowling. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes. A good parking place has ...
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After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime ...
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Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. My wife really ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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DEAR TIDE LAUNDRY DETERGENT:
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have.
I've used it since the beginning of married life, when my
Mom told me it was the best. ...
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"Hey, boss, I not come work today I really sick. I got headache, stomach
ache, and my legs hurt, I not come work."
The boss says: "You know Carlos I really need you today. ...
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A blonde went to her mail box several times before it was even time for the
postman to make his rounds.
A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was ...
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Jesus, Moses and God were out playing golf one day. Jesus teed
off first, and the ball flew straight over the fairway, landed in the
green and rolled to within a couple feet of ...
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Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon on your software development team:
10) Behold, the keyboard of Kaylis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever ...
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Okay kids... Before we go any further, let's clarify a few points. First point: DO NOT focus your anger on people just because they are Arab and/or ...
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A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory.
"Dear Lord", he began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "Without you we are ...
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My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a ...
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A Floridian, a New Yorker, and a Canadian are in a bar one night having some
beers. The New Yorker drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the
air, pulls out a gun and ...
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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are:
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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Dr. Seuss on Aging
I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh, my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell ...
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