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Quote of the week
"I think he's got quite the balls to open up a store nude.''
- Toronto city councilor George Mammoliti, referring to store owner
Malcolm Scott's practice ...
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10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:
10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
9) Duct tape won't fix that
8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's
...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right.
Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime ...
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
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20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. A hard-on doesn't ...
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The top 20 thinnest books
20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr.
19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit
18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...
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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer
guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the
problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...
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If only it were this easy...
Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down
and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would ...
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I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I
think it is fun to decide what one would do.
The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a ...
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Number10:
"Scattered @#$% ing showers, my ass!"
- Noah, 4314 BC
Number 9:
"How the @#$% did you work that out?"
- Pythagorus, 126 BC
Number 8:
"You want WHAT ...
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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
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100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a ...
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Disco Dog Dancing at its finest…
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Douglas Adams Quotes...
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no
account be allowed to do the job.
In the beginning the Universe was ...
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After all those jokes about from the Boomers, finally here is one
for those folks in between.
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...
1. You ...
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Seen on the back of a biker's vest: If you can read this, my wife fell off.
Horn Broken, Watch for Finger
If you can read this, please flip me back over... (seen upside down, ...
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COMPUTER, POWER STRIP I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not ...
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1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a single one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer or wine in the fridge. ...
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