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Women Drivers

Viewed 7 times
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This ...

Before it starts...

Viewed 6 times
A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but ...

Monkey, Lizard, and a Crocodile

Viewed 5 times
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...

Software

Viewed 5 times
Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice ...

No arms and no legs

Viewed 5 times
A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day, enjoying his chance to get some sun. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman walks by and stops. "You poor man," ...

The Camel

Viewed 5 times
The new French Foreign Legion captain was assigned to a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks ...

Little Johnny (misc)

Viewed 5 times
A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy, is your mother home?" ...

New State Mottos

Viewed 5 times
New State Mottos Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong! Arizona But It's a Dry Heat Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing ...

Corporate America in the 90's

Viewed 5 times
You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if: 1. You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. 2. Your company welcome sign is ...

Quick stories

Viewed 5 times
TRUE FUNNY STORIES - I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she ...

Scam

Viewed 5 times
Australian Police have been totally unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam: A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply ...

A Horse and a Chicken

Viewed 5 times
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The ...

Little Johnny (4)

Viewed 5 times
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains ...

Charlie Brown

Viewed 5 times
A few years ago Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang made a new friend who developed leukemia in an animated special entitled, "Why Me, Charlie Brown?" Recently MetLife put ...

Penguin

Viewed 5 times
A penguin is taking a trip when his car suddenly breaks down. Luckily for him, he finds himself just down the street from a mechanic. So he pushes his BMW to the shop and asks ...

Abe and John - Weird

Viewed 5 times
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was ...

God as a Computer Programmer

Viewed 4 times
Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer.  Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...

Boy Scout Camp

Viewed 4 times
Dear Mom & Dad, Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 Sleeping bags got ...

Taking the wife to the Rodeo

Viewed 4 times
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times ...

Old Age

Viewed 4 times
A little old man shuffled slowly... into an ice cream parlor. He pulled himself slowly... painfully... up onto a stool... After catching his breath... he ordered a ...

Comments

Viewed 4 times
A gastroenterologist/proctologist claims that these are actual comments made by his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies: 1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly ...

12 Rules for Life

Viewed 4 times
Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...

Santa's Little Helpers

Viewed 4 times
I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

How to Call the Police

Viewed 4 times
George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. ...

 

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