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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one ...
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Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer. Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...
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The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin ...
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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...
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On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...
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"Rudolph the Reindeer with an Inner Ear Infection" "Away in a Drunk Tank" "Here We Come A-Wassailing, Whatever the Hell That Means" "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Infected" ...
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I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, ...
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By an anonymous Trekkie. 10. Noisy doors. You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding ...
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But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...
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You know you're a Floridian if... Socks are only for bowling. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes. A good parking place has ...
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Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 ...
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"Remember your army loves you"
- Sergeant Diaz of the Colombian Army (no first name given), during the
debut of the new Colombian Army's new mascot, a large inflatable ...
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As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...
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Dear recipient, Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender ...
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1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all! 2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT! 3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...
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Fathers Pietro and George are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. Father Pietro looks at the other priest's equipment and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on the ...
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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...
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1. Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the ...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
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An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first ...
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Be on the lookout for the following computer viruses:
* Woody Allen Virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
* Tonya Harding Virus: Turns your BAT files ...
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THINGS YOU CAN'T SAY WITH A HALLMARK
"Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder: What the f_ck was I thinking"
"Congratulations on your ...
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My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a ...
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