The Temperature of Hell
TEMPERATURE OF HELL
This is forwarded from a graduate of the University of Oklahoma School of
Chemical Engineering Dept. Citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test
questions for his final examinations of 1997. Dr. Schlambaugh is
known for asking questions on his finals like: "Why do airplanes fly".
In May 1997, The Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II final exam question
was: "IS HELL EXOTHERMIC OR ENDOTHERMIC? SUPPORT YOUR ANSWER WITH PROOF".
Most of the students wrote proofs on their beliefs using Boyle's Law or
some variant. One student, however wrote the following:
"First we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If
they do then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are
souls moving into Hell, and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can
safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it does not leave. Therefore
no souls are leaving. As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since
there are more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to
more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to
Hell. With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now we look at the rate
of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of
the souls and volume needs to stay constant.
Answer 1: So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
Answer 2: Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa Banyan
during freshman year, that "It'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you", and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in having
sexual relations with her, then [A2] cannot be true...thus, Hell is
exothermic."
The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.
