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Added 1/7/2000
Personally, I don't know which is more bizarre: The fact that the ad
agency thought they could get away with this ad, or that Reuters found
it necessary to explain to its ...
Added 1/6/2000
A recent article in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer concerning accidental
deaths caused by physicians from research of Laura Key USA. This
triggered a chain of thought that ...
Added 1/4/2000
Things to do while your spouse or significant other is taking his/her
sweet time shopping:
1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly place them in other people's
shopping carts ...
Added 1/4/2000
Added 1/3/2000
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN...
1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth
than your spouse.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the
dinner ...
Added 12/26/1999
BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES:
CLINTON VIRUS Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
VIAGRA VIRUS Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
...
Added 12/20/1999
Tact
Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill
and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, ...
Added 12/16/1999
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean)
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in Deliverance.")
...
Added 12/14/1999
1. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people
can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left
lane waiting for the same jerks to ...
Added 12/14/1999
1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it. 2. Set all the alarm clocks to go ...
Added 12/13/1999
Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour
peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced
youngster was up to, he politely asked,
"What ...
Added 12/9/1999
Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the shack,
not a thing was a movin',
from the front to the back,
The kids were in bed,
I believe we had nine,
...
Added 12/9/1999
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne.
God addressed Al first. "Al, what do ...
Added 12/9/1999
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:
Chicago.
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window:
New York.
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all ...
Added 12/6/1999
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform
the other of the after life. The woman's biggest fear was that there was no
heaven. After a long life, ...
Added 12/6/1999
For high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did
not learn in school. In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good,
politically correct ...
Added 12/2/1999
After all those jokes about from the Boomers, finally here is one
for those folks in between.
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...
1. You ...
Added 12/2/1999
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake
up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to
feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people ...
Added 11/30/1999
Gifts for men
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him ...
Added 11/23/1999
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and
help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to
start it."
Her friend asks, ...
Added 11/23/1999
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The
doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me
back a sample tomorrow."
The ...
Added 11/17/1999
President Clinton got together with some of his golf buddies for a round.
When they got ready to tee off on hole No. 1, Clinton removed his golf jacket
and revealed that he had ...
Added 11/17/1999
... THINGS ON WHICH TO PONDER:
* Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
* Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
* Talk is cheap because ...
Added 11/16/1999
20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. A hard-on doesn't ...
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