YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN...
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN...
1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth
than your spouse.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the
dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the
same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls
on a different night.
5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired
people."
6. You wonder how service stations keep their
restrooms so clean.
7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying,
"Hey watch this."
8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling
fan.
10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled
Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded right off its wheels.
13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down,
depending on how much gas is in it.
14. You have to go outside to get something from the
fridge.
15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get
a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because
there's a law against it.
18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your
wife drunk.
19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
20. Your front porch collapses and kills more than
five dogs
