Where Are You
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:
Chicago.
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window:
New York.
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic:
New Jersey.
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator:
Boston.
5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling
cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap:
Los Angeles.
6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror:
Ohio, but driving in California.
7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to
talk to someone in back seat:
Italy.
8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on
brake, mind on radio game:
Seattle.
9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both
feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's
bag & beer bottles out the window:
Texas.
10. Four-wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer
cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna:
West Virginia.
11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield,
driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the right blinker on:
Florida.
