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Added 1/1/1990
Little Johnny asks his mother one day, "Mom, how old are you?". His
mother replies, "Now Johnny, you cannot ask a woman's age. That is
not polite". The next day Little Johnny ...
Added 1/1/1990
Little Johnny is standing at the side of a river, weeping. His tears
are streaming down his cheeks. An elderly lady passes by and feels
pity for him. "What is the matter, young ...
Added 1/1/1990
A Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad's do for a
living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys
in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a ...
Added 1/1/1990
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old
students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked,
"Little Johnny, why has your school work been so ...
Added 1/1/1990
LITTLE JOHNNY ON... PHILOSOPHY:
A Teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
He replies, "None, they ...
Added 1/1/1990
LITTLE JOHNNY ON SEX
Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting
on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of sex ...
Added 1/1/1990
Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference
between right and wrong.
"All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were
to get into ...
Added 1/1/1990
A teacher puts a photograph of a tomcat on the blackboard,
and proceeds to ask the class, if they can tell her how the
tail is attached to the cat.
Little Mary has the first ...
Added 1/1/1990
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students
might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas
season emphasis on His birth.
...
Added 1/1/1990
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He ...
Added 1/1/1990
One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck ...
Added 1/1/1990
Man Foils Armed Robbery with Tin of Sauerkraut
BERLIN (Reuters) - An elderly German man thwarted armed robbers by throwing a tin of sauerkraut at them, police said on Friday.
...
Added 1/1/1990
Martina Navratilovna won the 1994 Wimbledon match, and she is retiring
from tennis. An interviewer thought she might speak more freely now
that she is off the circuit, and ...
Added 1/1/1990
Benign................What you be after you be eight.
Artery................The study of paintings.
Bacteria..............Back door to cafeteria.
...
Added 1/1/1990
A gentleman had been trying for years to meet the Pope. Finally,
his wish was granted. When the gentleman approached the Pope
he said, "Your Eminence, I am so happy to be given ...
Added 1/1/1990
You knew these were coming…
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Willie Shoemaker?
Willie Shoemaker DOES have a license to ride 4 year olds.
I Got a new car ...
Added 1/1/1990
MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church
By Hank Vorjes
VATICAN CITY (AP) - In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square
this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican ...
Added 1/1/1990
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered
that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem,
NASA scientists spent a decade ...
Added 1/1/1990
LOS ALAMOS - New Science Discovery
The fire at Los Alamos has one significant
consequence. A secret scientific document was
discovered in a bunker whose security ...
Added 1/1/1990
NEW WORDS FOR 2004: Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and ...
Added 1/1/1990
Did you hear about the Polish Terrorist who tried to put a scare into America?
He covered his monitor with Anthrax and then sent an e-mail to the President.
Did you hear ...
Added 1/1/1990
One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
"Bubba, where'd you get that ...
Added 1/1/1990
When you get ads in your phone or utility bill, include them with the payment. Let them throw it away.
When you get those pre approved letters in the mail for everything from ...
Added 1/1/1990
You can view all of the News of the Weird at http://www.newsoftheweird.com/
(We have removed actual News of the Weird items to avoid possible copyright infringement.)
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