Humor
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Drunk Finds Cigarettes And Gasoline Don't Mix
Wednesday February 28 10:45 AM ET
BRISBANE (Reuters) - A drunk man who lit a cigarette while filling
a jerry can with ...
An Alexander County Deputy pulled a car over on I-57 about 2 miles north of
the Missouri state line.
When the deputy asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered ...
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, ...
Feudalism
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk.
Fascism
You have two cows.
The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you ...
It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home ...
Thursday July 26 7:51 AM ET
Experimental Pigs Turned Into Sausages
LONDON (Reuters) - Three genetically modified pigs were turned into sausages after being stolen from a ...
Four presidents are on a cruise ship which is taking on water and sinking quickly.
Ford yells: "Man the lifeboats!"
Carter yells: "Women & children first"
Nixon yells: ...
Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, ...
The air traffic dispatchers in Frankfurt Germany are notorious for their lack of tolerance and patience. They act as if the pilot should know everything and should not request ...
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar:
FREE BEER
FREE BEER
FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST!
So the guy asks the bartender ...
A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second ...
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to
get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she
came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had the most ...
A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years
before the Gulf War, and she had noticed how women customarily
walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. ...
A heart-warming story of the advances of women in achieving equality around the world...
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. ...
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher ...
Exercise program for Those Of Us Getting On in Years.
I thought I would let you in on a little secret I've found
for building arm and shoulder muscles. You might wish to adopt ...
An engineer, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and
went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told him, "You've been a good
man and your motorcycles have changed ...
Legless Man Wanted in Pants Heist
- Rueters recently reported that a man with no legs is wanted in West Vancouver for allegedly stealing 10 pairs of pants from The Gap. They ...
ACTUAL NEWS HEADLINES
GATORS TO FACE SEMINOLES WITH PETERS OUT
The Tallahassee Bugle
MESSIAH CLIMAXES IN CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS
The Anchorage Alaska Times
...
Elmer, an 80 year-old stumbled into the doctor's office all
excited and in a tither.
"doc .. I've lost my hearing!" Elmer yelled.
"let's examine the problem," the doc said. ...
Heaven is when you have…
an American salary
a British home
Chinese food
a Swiss economy
an Italian body
Japanese technology
an African tool
an Indian wife ...
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps
into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow ...
Dear Santa,
I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond
earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little
thing, and I want ...
There were two old boys from Alabama who loved to fish. They wanted to do some ice fishing that they'd heard about in Canada, so they took off to try it. The lake was frozen ...
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