Humor
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CDW is currently running a contest to find the best IT story. They have
narrowed the field down to 14 finalists. This one is my personal favorite.
(The rest are online at
10) He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said... You wear briefs, don't you?
9) She said... What do you mean by coming home half ...
Friday July 13 7:43 AM ET
Elderly Man Licking Wounds After Cat Attack
QUEBEC CITY (Reuters) - An elderly Canadian man was said to be
recovering on Thursday following a ...
What's Your "Southern" Sign? Some of us (especially Southerners) are
pretty skeptical of horoscopes, and it has become obvious that what we
need are "Southern" symbols:
...
Tuesday August 21 8:56 AM ET
Man Chops Off Testicle in Job Protest
LIMA, Peru (Reuters) - A Peruvian man who last year sliced off his penis
to draw attention to his ...
They're everywhere. This one, according to today's New Haven Register,
was observed in the Wallingford, CT post office:
A man walks into the Wallingford post office, says that ...
Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe. Larry was a truck ...
Mid-life is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
Mid-life women no longer have upper ...
"My parents just came back from a planet where the dominant lifeform had
no bilateral symmetry, and all I got was this stupid F-Shirt."
(If you got this joke, and found it ...
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked
to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told
him that they only sold whole ...
Queen Elizabeth's husband, Prince Philip, recently got into trouble for
telling a young boy he was too fat to be an astronaut. Here then are a
few other choice quotes from ...
Patient: "Huh? What? Where am I?"
Nurse: "You're in the hospital. You've been in a coma."
Patient: "How long was I in a coma?"
Nurse: "Ten years"
Patient: "Wow... ...
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the
horse immediately springs into ...
Hello, my name is Carol and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50
billion f_cking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe
that if you send them on, a ...
1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when
I'm lying under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind ...
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter
concluded that the behavior of President Clinton and Rep. Condit had
brought about the need for an eleventh ...
A Mississippi woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in Mississippi
arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck.
The Mississippi woodpecker said that they had a ...
ADULTERY - The wrong people doing the right thing.
ALIMONY - The screwing you get for the screwing you got.
BABY - A hollow tube with a loud voice at one end
and a complete ...
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young
mothers and their small children, "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, ...
The following pseudo-mathematical proof was posted to rec.games.board:
What about this:
We know that women like two things, your time and your money,
therefore...
women ...
"Hey, boss, I not come work today I really sick. I got headache, stomach
ache, and my legs hurt, I not come work."
The boss says: "You know Carlos I really need you today. ...
15. Sleep 'til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am!
14. Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.
13. Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states.
...
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth
was void, without form, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And Satan said, "It doesn't get any ...
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