Words Wives Use
Words wives uses on their husbands...
FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are
right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a
woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an
even trade.
NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".
GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You
will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes"
when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot
at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing".
SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the
few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best
bet is do not move or breathe and she will stay content.
OH
This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me
get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last
night". If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the
nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done
tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to
you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually
signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get
out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts
so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a
man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's
Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a
raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she
has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing
whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the
truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.
THANKS A LOT
This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt
her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be
careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only
tell you "Nothing".
