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Added 1/11/2004
A drunk goes into a bar. He is very, very drunk - can hardly stand up. He slurs his way up to the bar and says:
"Hey, bartender! Gimme a martini!"
"No, no," says the ...
Added 12/28/2003
Question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes ...
Added 12/15/2003
The universal compensation for buddies who help you Move is beer.
Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but
not both. That's just plain mean. ...
Added 12/14/2003
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. Curious, the boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who ...
Added 12/14/2003
Disco Dog Dancing at its finest…
Added 12/11/2003
The Texas preacher rose with an angry red face. "Someone in this
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is
a horrible lie and one which a ...
Added 12/11/2003
A woman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when she sees a Navajo
woman hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the
car and the Navajo woman ...
Added 12/8/2003
Who says aeronatuical engineers don't have a sense of humor.
Page 46 of Lockheed Martin's F-35 computer middleware presentation
* Theory is when you know everything and ...
Added 12/8/2003
Sister Margaret had been a model nun all her life, but then she was called
to her reward. As she approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter said "Hold
on, Sister Margaret... not ...
Added 12/8/2003
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend ...
Added 12/8/2003
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The Washington Post is read ...
Added 12/1/2003
Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how
nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and
without an argument go ...
Added 11/23/2003
A recent study found out which days men prefer to have sex. It was found
that men preferred to engage in sexual activity on the days that started
with the letter "T"'.
For ...
Added 11/23/2003
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly
gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each
possess something that ...
Added 11/17/2003
I SHALL SEEK AND FIND YOU...
I SHALL TAKE YOU TO BED AND HAVE MY WAY WITH YOU...
I WILL MAKE YOU ACHE, SHAKE AND SWEAT UNTIL YOU MOAN AND GROAN.
I WILL MAKE YOU BEG FOR ...
Added 11/17/2003
Who said "A sewer worker is like a brain surgeon. We're both specialists."
Added 11/13/2003
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us
who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's probably shouldn't have
survived.
Our baby cribs were covered with ...
Added 11/7/2003
LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...
Added 11/6/2003
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in ...
Added 11/5/2003
Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1960:
A logger ...
Added 11/3/2003
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang. The wife (undoubtedly
blonde), picked up the phone, listened a
moment And said, "How should I know, that's 200 ...
Added 10/26/2003
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
I'd rather die living than live dying.
In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your ...
Added 10/22/2003
In pharmacology, all drugs have two names; a trade name and a generic name.For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen. Aleve is also called ...
Added 10/19/2003
A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was
named Rolex and one was ...
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