Humor
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How would our lifes be different if Microsoft built cars?
1. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas.
2. You would constantly be pressured to upgrade your car.
3. You ...
Did you ever wonder what driving to the store would be like if
operating systems ran your car? (not unless your a systems geek)
-
MS-DOS: You get in the car and ...
A little girl was playing in her backyard when she spotted two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
...
A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day. They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, ...
A young hotshot gets a job with the IRS. His first
assignment is to audit an old rabbi. He thinks he'll
have a little fun with the old rabbi, so he says,
"Rabbi, what do you ...
IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS? As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) - I am pleased to ...
"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
"I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style."
"This'll jar your ...
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed ...
A couple of drinking buddies who are airplane mechanics
are in the hanger at JFK airport in New York; it's
fogged over and they have nothing to do.
One of them says to the ...
Two old jewish men were walking and noticed a sign outside the church. "Convert today for Fifty dollars". The first one said what do I have to lose ? So he goes in. His friend ...
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim
suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the ...
John Cleese was recently asked on American TV what he thought the
differences between the English and the Americans were.
In reply he said that there were three differences: ...
Ever notice how a four-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?
Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe ...
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8
year-olds: "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and
deeper than anyone could have ...
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was
showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt...except it
had a rather large hole in the most ...
Our pastor tells a story (that he swears is true) about a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard, but couldn't be coaxed down. The tree was too thin to climb, so the pastor ...
An elderly woman walked into a doctor's office and told the doctor that
she and her husband had not been intimate in years. She said that her
husband seemed to have a lack of ...
One of the best examples of how ridiculous government paperwork can be is
illustrated by a recent case in Louisiana. A company president was trying to
buy some land in ...
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation ...
A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on
the front porch with her bags packed.
He asked her where she was going, and she replied, "I'm going
to Las ...
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a boyfriend.
When I was 16 I got a boyfriend, but there was no passion. So I
decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest for ...
~~~ Life as an Americian ~~~
We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay ...
One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have ...
Little Johnny asks his mother one day, "Mom, how old are you?". His
mother replies, "Now Johnny, you cannot ask a woman's age. That is
not polite". The next day Little Johnny ...
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