Humor
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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the ...
A young couple are on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she has a confession to make. The reason that they have not been ...
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him ...
A worried father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that
new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it."
"Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, ...
This guy from out of town walks into a local bar for a
drink. After about 2 steps, he realizes he's in a gay bar,
but he thinks, "What the heck, all I really want is a beer." ...
News from Hopkins Medical Center......
Yesterday research scientists revealed that beer contains
small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed ...
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few
weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo ...
An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and
chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.
As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next ...
10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:
10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
9) Duct tape won't fix that
8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's
...
and the moral of the story is.....
One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of story and then conclude with the moral of that story. ...
Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally
sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in
Vermont as far away from humanity as ...
A baby was born so advanced , he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked. "yes, I am," said the doctor. The baby said, ...
THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS..
THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN. "Members of Congress, people of America, I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not ...
A 93 year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world.
After considering various methods of doing away with herself, ...
An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget
many little things around the house. They were afraid that this could be
dangerous, as one of them may ...
A woman was trying to do her laundry one day, when her washing machine
suddenly broke down. Distraught, she called her husband at the office and said,
"Honey, can you please ...
A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and
feels really good about the result. On his way home, he stops at a
newsstand and buys a paper. Before ...
The following are actual statements made during court cases:
Judge: I know you, don't I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: ...
THE CONFESSIONAL
There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The priest said, ...
Rejected Hallmark Cards:
So your daughter's a hooker
And it spoiled your day
Look at the bright side
She's a really good lay.
You totalled your car
And can't ...
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "f_ck." It is the one magical word which ,just by its sound, can describe pain, ...
It was the accepted practice in Babylonia 4000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead ...
LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he ...
More little Johnny! One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, ...
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