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Sheep


A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet explains that they will stop standing around and, instead, will lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.

The man gives it some thought and eventually comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination must mean that he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, and has sex with all of them. When he is done his deed, he returns home with the sheep.

The next morning, he awakens to find that the sheep are still standing around. He concludes that the first try didn't take, and so he loads them into the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, and then returns home with the sheep.

The next morning, he awakens to find that the sheep are still standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and he proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods again. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, later that evening, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to see if the sheep are lying in the grass. "No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."



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