Mike and the gorilla
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few
weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The
gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla
species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Mike,
an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Mike, it was
rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, but he wasn't
very bright. So, the zoo administrators thought they might have a
solution.
Mike was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to screw
the gorilla for five hundred bucks? Mike showed some interest, but said
he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but
only under three conditions. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to
kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may
result from this union."
The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they
asked what was his third condition.
"Well," said Mike, "you've gotta give me another week to come up
with the five hundred bucks."