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Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean)
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in Deliverance.")
...
REMEMBER WHEN....
A computer was something on TV
from a science fiction show.
A window was something you hated to clean
and RAM was the cousin of a goat.
MEG was ...
A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their ...
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have
decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an eight
year-old again.
I want to go to ...
Rest in Peace, Colonel Klink
Thursday December 07 10:06 PM EST
Werner Klemperer, the man guaranteed tube immortality as the bumbling Colonel Klink on TV's Hogan's Heroes, ...
Taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in the July
21, 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine:
1. "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience."
...
Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take
a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim,
Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical ...
Apparently concerned about the misinterpretation of language at this
highly charged time, Reuters's head of global news, Stephen Jukes, has
directed his staff to avoid the word ...
"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman
wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier
noticed a remote control for a ...
to: The citizens of the United States of America,
In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern
yourselves, we hereby give notice of the ...
Here's a Riddle for You:
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
The ...
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a PO-lease roadblock!! We ...
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their
best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone
who knows nothing and cares less ...
The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take a civil-service exam.
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few ...
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens ...
Here is a new set of rules for editing your writing.
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a ...
Top Ten Suggestions for Guys While Playing Golf and/or Taking a Leak in a Public Bathroom
10. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
9. Form a loose grip.
...
Let's get this straight.
Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
It's ...
1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed ...
Rules for Work
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a rush job, ...
MARINE CORPS
* Bring a weapon. Preferably, bring at least two.
* Bring all of your friends who have weapons.
* Bring their friends who have weapons.
* Anything worth ...
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it
doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and ...
"Rules of the Road"
Stuff they didn't teach you in Drivers Ed...
If, at any time, you have witnessed a green light, it is okay to proceed through the intersection, ...
FUN WITH SADDAM AND BILL
Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round
of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down,
he notices ...
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