Humor
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These quotes were taken from actual performance evaluations:
"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig."
"His men would follow him ...
Taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in the July
21, 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine:
1. "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience."
...
You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When...
1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
2. You decide to re-organize your family into a ...
* What do Monica Lewinsky and Soda Pop machines have in common?
Answer: They both have slots which say "Insert 'Bill"
here."
* What help wanted ad did Monica Lewinsky ...
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
- Deer Kill 17,000
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity ...
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner
with God. During dinner He told them: "I need three important people
to send my message out to all ...
THE POWER OF SUGGESTION
A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the
collection plates each Sunday. Someone
suggested to him that perhaps he ...
An ANAGRAM, as we may know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or
rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following examples
are quite astounding!
...
The Bible According to Kids
The cute statements below are said to have been written by actual
students and are genuine, authentic and not retouched or corrected:
In the ...
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
...
Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he walked past Ole's house and saw a sign that said, "Boat For Sale."
This confused Sven because he knew that Ole didn't own a ...
1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
2. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
3. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets ...
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's
station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they
got caught in a terrible blizzard. They ...
Two buddies were sitting at the bar in a singles' club
and talking about another guy who was sitting at the
other end of the bar.
"I don't get it," complained the first guy, ...
Four Habits of Highly Effective People
1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with
documents in their hands look like hardworking employees ...
God one day decided to check in on Adam to see how things were going.
"Adam... How are things going?"
Adam replies that he considers himself quite fortunate to be living in ...
WILL HE JUMP?
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o'clock news. The news was
about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the
blonde and says " ...
Mike Tyson is in bed with a girl, and he says, "My life's a disaster. I was born to an under-privileged
family, had a rough childhood, I was thrown in jail for rape, my wife left ...
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some
money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind ...
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans ...
FUN THOUGHTS
1. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. I doubt, therefore I might be.
4. ...
A woman wants the inside of her house painted, so she calls a contractor
In to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors
she wants. She says, "Now ...
Some things you just can't explain
A farmer is sitting in the neighbourhood bar getting soused. A
man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here
on this ...
- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
- Experience is something you don't get ...
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