The Manbottle Library

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Redneck Jokes

Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it till she's fourteen. - ...

Atheist

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred ...

Are you qualified to be a professional

The following quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional. The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think ...

The Cowhand

There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go of it but she knew very little about ...

Breasts

The Difference Between Women With Small Or Large Breasts WOMEN WITH BIG BREASTS... ..can get a taxi on the worst days ..have a neat place to carry spare change ...

20 thinnest books

The top 20 thinnest books 20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr. 19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit 18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...

Arcane Knowledge (Trivia)

WONDER HOW YOU EVER GOT ALONG WITHOUT KNOWING THIS ?? Debra Winger was the voice of E.T. Pearls melt in vinegar. It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather ...

What you drink...

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. ...

How do you know...

How do you know when you're REALLY ugly? Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed. What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? Say, "Nice dick." How do ...

Arthritis

A man who reeked of alcohol flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of rum was ...

Blonde Story

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, a blonde (of course!!), new to boating was having a problem. No matter ...

Quote 2

"The Bible shows us the way to go to Heaven, but not the way the heavens go." - Galileo Galilei (16th century astronomer)

Why men are so proud of themselves...

1. They know stuff about guns. 2. A two week trip requires only one suitcase. 3. They can open all of their jars. 4. They can go to the bathroom without a support group. ...

Cadillacs

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill ...

Quote 3

"A philosopher sees the earth as a large planet, traveling through the heavens, covered with fools" - Bernard le Bovier de Fontenelle (17th century French philosopher)

The Finger

Note: The actual origins of this bit of history/folklore are still not clear, but evidence suggests that the source may be Click and Clack: The Tappet Brothers (a.k.a. Tom and ...

Stages Of Life...

THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE AGE DRINK 17 beer 25 bourbon 35 vodka 48 double vodka 66 Maalox AGE SEDUCTION LINE 17

Speeding ticket

For anyone who has ever gotten a speeding ticket... This guy is flying down the road, and he comes over a bridge. Sure enough, a cop with a radar gun is sitting on the other ...

Texas Baby

A proud Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar, announcing that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby boy" weighing 20 pounds. WOW! (Congratulations ...

Golf 2

WORST FOURSOME IN GOLF 1. MONICA LEWINSKI 2. O.J. SIMPSON 3. TED KENNEDY 4. BILL CLINTON WHY YOU ASK? 1. MONICA IS A HOOKER 2. O.J. IS A SLICER 3. TED ...

So you want to be a...

A husband and wife are in bed. The husband asks for sex. The wife says 'no.' Her husband asks, "Is that your final answer?" She responds, "Yes." He says, "Then I'd ...

Things you learn from the movies

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not. 2. At least one of a pair of identical twins ...

Calling in Sick

Calling in Sick Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion I had a ...

Frog

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release ...

 

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