Humor
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Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away
and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
- ...
An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his
boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip,
the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred ...
The following quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or
not you are qualified to be a professional.
The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think ...
There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his
devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go of it
but she knew very little about ...
The Difference Between Women With Small Or Large Breasts
WOMEN WITH BIG BREASTS...
..can get a taxi on the worst days
..have a neat place to carry spare change
...
The top 20 thinnest books
20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr.
19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit
18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...
WONDER HOW YOU EVER GOT ALONG WITHOUT KNOWING THIS ??
Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather ...
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's
personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately,
they concurred on almost all counts. ...
How do you know when you're REALLY ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
Say, "Nice dick."
How do ...
A man who reeked of alcohol flopped on a subway seat next to a
priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with
red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of rum was ...
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour
east of Bakersfield, California, a blonde (of course!!), new to boating
was having a problem. No matter ...
"The Bible shows us the way to go to Heaven, but not the way the heavens
go."
- Galileo Galilei (16th century astronomer)
1. They know stuff about guns.
2. A two week trip requires only one suitcase.
3. They can open all of their jars.
4. They can go to the bathroom without a support group. ...
A man and his wife were driving through country on his
way from New York to California.
Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the
next gasoline station and fill ...
"A philosopher sees the earth as a large planet, traveling through the
heavens, covered with fools"
- Bernard le Bovier de Fontenelle (17th century French philosopher)
Note: The actual origins of this bit of history/folklore are still not
clear, but evidence suggests that the source may be Click and Clack: The
Tappet Brothers (a.k.a. Tom and ...
THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 bourbon
35 vodka
48 double vodka
66 Maalox
AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17
For anyone who has ever gotten a speeding ticket...
This guy is flying down the road, and he comes over a bridge. Sure enough, a
cop with a radar gun is sitting on the other ...
A proud Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar,
announcing that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas
baby boy" weighing 20 pounds. WOW! (Congratulations ...
WORST FOURSOME IN GOLF
1. MONICA LEWINSKI
2. O.J. SIMPSON
3. TED KENNEDY
4. BILL CLINTON
WHY YOU ASK?
1. MONICA IS A HOOKER
2. O.J. IS A SLICER
3. TED ...
A husband and wife are in bed.
The husband asks for sex.
The wife says 'no.'
Her husband asks, "Is that your final answer?"
She responds, "Yes."
He says, "Then I'd ...
1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins ...
Calling in Sick
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how
legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one
occasion I had a ...
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the
woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in
a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release ...
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