Humor
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As a service for those subscribers who didn't have time to watch the
presidential debate
last night, we have prepared this transcript of what was actually
said...
Jim ...
Top Ten Things Only Women Understand:
10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
...
In the seventh century, Queen Etheldrida of Northumbria developed a throat tumor, which she regarded as divine punishment for her life of extravagance. Before her death, she ...
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin,
5,and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would
get the first pancake. Their mother saw the
opportunity for a moral ...
A female computer consultant was helping a smug male set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.
Wanting to embarrass the ...
Bubba Gets Triplets
Well, Bubba's old lady had been pregnant for some
time, and now the time had come. So, he brought
her to the doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the ...
Lesson Number One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing
all day long?" The ...
Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why ...
Lesson Number Three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." ...
Lesson Number Four, Five and Six
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, ...
Some Thoughts for the Day
-
What's the difference between the Pope and your boss?
The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
Never trust a stockbroker who's married ...
A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he
pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to
write with it. Realizing his mistake, he ...
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing
from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled
sound downstairs.
She went ...
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms.
Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces
to his wife the purchase he just made.
...
Note: In case you were wondering, our current policy on ethnic humor is
available on the manbottle library website:
http://www.manbottle.com/ethnic.htm
- editor
Florida Dept of Fish and Wildlife Warning
The Florida State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers,
hunters, fishers, and golfers to take extra precautions and ...
THE STRESS DIET
This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up
during the day.
BREAKFAST
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim ...
"HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?"
You got to find somebody who likes the
same stuff. Like, if you
like sports, she should like it that
you like sports, and she should keep ...
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child
in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with
the remainder of the proverb. ...
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
artwork. As she got to one little girl ...
A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by
a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.
He said, "I'm doing some research for ...
You have just received the "Kentucky Virus"
As we ain't got no programming experience, this virus works on the honor
system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive ...
Bill Clinton was walking along the White House fence when he came upon
a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of
age.
The group surrounded a dog. ...
Note: Unlike many such things, this really is a true story. You can
hear the audio clip at http://www.snopes2.com/radiotv/audio/newlywed.rm
Just think, where would we be
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