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Added 5/3/2001
Yesterday, I heard from a drug rep for Glaxo who told me that they are
on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy that they think will take
the market by storm. This drug ...
Added 5/2/2001
Just turned 50...
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned
to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow ...
Added 4/29/2001
ONLY IN AMERICA
Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance...
Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating ...
Added 4/23/2001
Q What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out ...
Added 4/15/2001
Oh balls...
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was ...
Added 4/11/2001
Every morning Bill Clinton takes a jog in his new home town of
Chappaqua.
Each day he passes a hooker on a particular street corner and, as he
goes by, she shouts out, ...
Added 4/8/2001
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs
on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches
and says, "We don't serve beer to ...
Added 4/1/2001
Things I've Learned as I've Matured...
I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and
give in.
I've learned ...
Added 4/1/2001
4/1/2001
San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge to officially become the TransAmerica
Bridge.
by contributing editor April Olfos
(SAN FRANCISCO-UPI) The city of San ...
Added 3/31/2001
A man calls home to his wife and says, Honey I have
been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with
my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a
week.
...
Added 3/31/2001
Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: ...
Added 3/30/2001
A local man was found murdered in his home this weekend.
Detectives at the scene found this man face down in his bath tub. The
tub had been filled with milk and corn flakes, ...
Added 3/26/2001
Sipping Vodka
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The
monsignor replied,"When I am ...
Added 3/25/2001
I read this article that said typical symptoms of stress are eating too
much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they
kidding? That is my idea of a ...
Added 3/25/2001
Why Condoms Come In Packages
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to
walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" To ...
Added 3/21/2001
Two guys were taking chemistry at the University of Alabama. They
were so confident going into the final that two days before, they decided
to go up to the University of ...
Added 3/18/2001
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, You're it
2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red ...
Added 3/18/2001
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make
love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friend compliments you on your new ...
Added 3/14/2001
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more
information in our heads."
- Vlade Divac, Los Angeles Lakers
Added 3/14/2001
They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The
storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched
her jump.
She looked across the ...
Added 3/12/2001
The New Survivor Show
Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?
6 men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids each, for 6
weeks.
Each kid plays ...
Added 3/6/2001
A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine
the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated.
As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, ...
Added 3/4/2001
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject
and finally after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made
for the nearest frozen lake. ...
Added 2/26/2001
"You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test"
- George W. Bush, at an education event in Townsend, Tennessee.
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