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Added 3/17/2002
PLANT CITY, FL - Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item - Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J ...
Added 3/15/2002
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is ...
Added 3/14/2002
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for the
winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool ...
Added 3/11/2002
"A cageful of drunken monkeys is like a cocktail party."
- Frank Ervin, a professor of psychiatry at McGill University, who is
currently studying what happens when you liquor ...
Added 3/9/2002
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car, get tired.
Man who run behind car, get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
...
Added 3/7/2002
Stevie Wonder was one of the performers at this year's Presidential Gala at
Ford's Theater. Evidently George W. Bush is a big fan. The Washington Post
reported that President ...
Added 3/7/2002
If you have children you will probably relate to this father...
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, ...
Added 3/3/2002
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I
look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. ...
Added 3/2/2002
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment.
The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him ...
Added 2/28/2002
"Remember your army loves you"
- Sergeant Diaz of the Colombian Army (no first name given), during the
debut of the new Colombian Army's new mascot, a large inflatable ...
Added 2/26/2002
Fugitive Cow Finally Captured
The bovine escapee who eluded Cincinnati's finest for 12 days is finally
behind bars tonight. It took the SPCA, three decoy cows, and two shots ...
Added 2/25/2002
During camouflage training, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a
sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You jackass!" the
officer barked. "Don't you ...
Added 2/25/2002
Attention Bounty Hunters: Runaway Cow Now Has a Price on Her Head
The situation must be getting desperate. According to the Cincinnati Post,
fast-food restaurant Chick-Fil-A ...
Added 2/22/2002
An old farmer named George went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl
asked "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?"
The old farmer said "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Where ...
Added 2/21/2002
Condemned Cow Escapes
Last Friday, a cow weighing in excess of one thousand pounds jumped an eight
foot high fence and escaped from the Ken Myers Meats meat-packing plant in ...
Added 2/20/2002
In 2001 five times more money was spent on breast
implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
That means that in 30 years there will be people
walking around with huge ...
Added 2/19/2002
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who immediatley comes over to her. When he arrives, she seductively ...
Added 2/17/2002
Little David came home from first grade and told his father they learned
about the history of Valentine's Day.
"Since Valentine's day is for a Christian saint and we're ...
Added 2/15/2002
The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night
and demanded $20 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly
aroused state, he readily agreed. ...
Added 2/15/2002
Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
Added 2/14/2002
"Proteins from cod sperm can also be used in chocolate and cosmetics"
- Guro Pedersen, research scientist for Maritex - a Norwegian biotech
company, speaking on the many ...
Added 2/10/2002
In a survey, 80 percent of women thought their ass was too fat,
15 percent said their ass was too thin,
and the other five percent said they didn't care - they would have ...
Added 2/10/2002
A country doctor went to deliver a baby. The expectant mother's five year
old son was with her, and the delivery was imminent. The house had no
electricity, so the doctor ...
Added 2/10/2002
"If he thinks I'm calling myself Mrs. Phooey he's got another think coming.
He's done daft things before but this takes the dog biscuit."
- Danielle Brett, upon learning that ...
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