Humor
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Stevie Wonder was one of the performers at this year's Presidential Gala at
Ford's Theater. Evidently George W. Bush is a big fan. The Washington Post
reported that President ...
If you have children you will probably relate to this father...
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, ...
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I
look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. ...
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment.
The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him ...
Fugitive Cow Finally Captured
The bovine escapee who eluded Cincinnati's finest for 12 days is finally
behind bars tonight. It took the SPCA, three decoy cows, and two shots ...
During camouflage training, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a
sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You jackass!" the
officer barked. "Don't you ...
Attention Bounty Hunters: Runaway Cow Now Has a Price on Her Head
The situation must be getting desperate. According to the Cincinnati Post,
fast-food restaurant Chick-Fil-A ...
An old farmer named George went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl
asked "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?"
The old farmer said "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Where ...
Condemned Cow Escapes
Last Friday, a cow weighing in excess of one thousand pounds jumped an eight
foot high fence and escaped from the Ken Myers Meats meat-packing plant in ...
In 2001 five times more money was spent on breast
implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
That means that in 30 years there will be people
walking around with huge ...
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who immediatley comes over to her. When he arrives, she seductively ...
The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night
and demanded $20 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly
aroused state, he readily agreed. ...
"Proteins from cod sperm can also be used in chocolate and cosmetics"
- Guro Pedersen, research scientist for Maritex - a Norwegian biotech
company, speaking on the many ...
In a survey, 80 percent of women thought their ass was too fat,
15 percent said their ass was too thin,
and the other five percent said they didn't care - they would have ...
A country doctor went to deliver a baby. The expectant mother's five year
old son was with her, and the delivery was imminent. The house had no
electricity, so the doctor ...
"If he thinks I'm calling myself Mrs. Phooey he's got another think coming.
He's done daft things before but this takes the dog biscuit."
- Danielle Brett, upon learning that ...
At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Sign over a gynecologist's office
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
At a military ...
A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
repair shop. The shop owner saw ...
Michael Jackson describes his September 11th experience in the March issue of Vibe... "I was in New York (after performing at Madison Square Garden on Sept. 7 and 10), and I got ...
Candidate Gives Viagra, Calls for Nation to Rise
BOGOTA, Colombia (Reuters) - Promising to invigorate Colombians in the
struggle against war and corruption, a presidential ...
"There is a product in the ink which, if you ingest 400 notes become toxic.
So, besides being expensive, it is not recommendable to eat Euro notes."
- Eugenio Domingo, ...
An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small
tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the
first time we had sex together ...
I am a teapot
Here is handle, here is spout
I am a teapot
Mary had a lamb
Followed her to school one day
Children laughed and played
There were three blind ...
"After the lights were on and I saw a butt naked guy on my table I thought,
'Wow, this is weirder than I thought.' "
- unidentified homeowner in Muncie, Indiana, after ...
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