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Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort in the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids.
After creating heaven and earth, God ...
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin,
5,and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would
get the first pancake. Their mother saw the
opportunity for a moral ...
Childrens Book Titles You'll Never See
You Were an Accident
Strangers Have the Best Candy
The Little Sissy Who Snitched
Some Kittens Can Fly!
The Protocols of the ...
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car, get tired.
Man who run behind car, get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
...
A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be ...
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS.
Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.
Thus, ...
(from the AFU & Urban Legends Archive - www.urbanlegends.com)
Financial Times, December 27, 1984:
'If Christmas cheer is easily assimilated into Japanese office parties ...
- Gifts for Children -
This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want. They spend months and months ...
Christopher Reeve has a new job... He's selling accidental disability
insurance...
http://www.healthextras.com/
Feel free to make up your own jokes about possible other ...
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed
couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special
requirements for new parishioners. ...
Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies' group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the ...
Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in
various church bulletins.
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck ...
These are actual clippings from church newspapers. It's amazing what a
little proof-reading would provide...
National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the ...
People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each ...
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the
trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general
began to throw his weight around to try ...
Once again, Beloit College has found new ways to make us feel old...
Beloit, Wis. - In the coming weeks, a new generation of students will
arrive on campuses throughout the ...
Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE BITCH.
-
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY ...
THE POWER OF SUGGESTION
A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the
collection plates each Sunday. Someone
suggested to him that perhaps he ...
DEAR TIDE LAUNDRY DETERGENT:
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have.
I've used it since the beginning of married life, when my
Mom told me it was the best. ...
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client ...
Every morning Bill Clinton takes a jog in his new home town of
Chappaqua.
Each day he passes a hooker on a particular street corner and, as he
goes by, she shouts out, ...
President Clinton got together with some of his golf buddies for a round.
When they got ready to tee off on hole No. 1, Clinton removed his golf jacket
and revealed that he had ...
Dear Mom and Dad:
It has been four months since I left for college. I have been remiss in
writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness. I will bring you up to
date now, ...
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy Doc, you're ...
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