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An embarrassing problem

Added 1/7/1997
An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In ...

Sincerity is...

Added 12/17/1996
In response to Larry's E-mail which mentions sincerity...I would like to share one of my favorite sayings (this is good for Sales and all Front Desk personnel within the company). ...

Bill worked in a pickle factory...

Added 12/8/1996
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge ...

Little Johnny (show-and-tell)

Added 12/6/1996
One Monday morning, Little Johnny's kindergarten teacher, Miss Needlemeyer, decided to have a special show-and-tell session in which each child could tell about something ...

Twelve bugs of Christmas

Added 12/5/1996
For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me See if they can do it again. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me Ask them how they did it and ...

Abe and John - Weird

Added 10/29/1996
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was ...

$100,000

Added 5/22/1996
A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to his bedside his three closest advisors: his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer. "I know," he says, they say 'you can't take ...

Building Toasters...

Added 5/22/1996
If IBM made toasters... They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six ...

Rejected Titles for Twister

Added 5/22/1996
The Top 17 Rejected Titles for the Movie "Twister" 17. "Totally Gone With The Wind" 16. "Lift and Separate" 15. "Boys on the Side-Of My Barn" 14. "Summer Film So Full ...

Bill Gates dies in a car accident

Added 3/22/1996
Some WIN95 humor.... Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not ...

The magic of Smoke

Added 1/19/1996
A little know fact that most engineers, technicians and auto mechanics overlook is the magic of smoke. Yes, smoke. It is the guts of most everything that works......... ...

10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer

Added 1/1/1990
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my ...

100 fun ways to order pizza

Added 1/1/1990
100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a ...

20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus

Added 1/1/1990
20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. While he's in the ...

25 Signs You've Grown Up

Added 1/1/1990
1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a single one of them. 2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. 3. You keep more food than beer or wine in the fridge. ...

A dictionary for software engineers

Added 1/1/1990
A dictionary for software engineers: Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work." Beta: Software ...

A pious man...

Added 1/1/1990
A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to ...

A story about genies...

Added 1/1/1990
A story about genies... A husband and wife were out enjoying a round of golf about to tee off on the third hole which was lined by beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and ...

A Visit to the Stock Yard

Added 1/1/1990
A Visit to the Stock Yard A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bull's stall states: "This ...

Administratium

Added 1/1/1990
S C I E N T I S T S D I S C O V E R N E W E L E M E N T The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by university physicists. The element, ...

Advice

Added 1/1/1990
It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job. It is important that a man makes you laugh. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't ...

An Arm and A Leg

Added 1/1/1990
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, and he heard a loud voice ask him, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. Then ...

And God created Eve

Added 1/1/1990
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sunrises and ...

As We Age

Added 1/1/1990
Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. Without thinking she simply replied, "No peer ...

 

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