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Added 4/7/1999
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation between a US naval
ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.
Radio conversation ...
Added 4/7/1999
Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to
the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if ...
Added 3/31/1999
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change ...
Added 3/29/1999
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN....
* Your potted plants stay alive.
* Having sex in a twin sized bed is absurd.
* You keep more food than beer in the ...
Added 3/28/1999
Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George Bush and Bill Clinton found
themselves following the famous Yellow Brick Road, on their way to
meet The Wizard. They were all missing just a ...
Added 3/27/1999
"The Five Commercials Aired During The Lewinsky/Walters
Interview" (and yes, these really did air during the interview)
5. Victoria's Secret lingerie.
4. Burger King - ...
Added 3/26/1999
Everything I Know I Learned In Corporate America
1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3. There is ...
Added 3/25/1999
Top Ten Things a Consultant Shouldn't Tell a Client
10. That was my first guess as well, but then I really thought about it.
9. You should see the hotel I'm staying at.
...
Added 3/24/1999
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too
much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason...
I'm tired because I'm overworked.
Take ...
Added 3/24/1999
Two men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the two men stumbled across an ...
Added 3/23/1999
A recent Cincinnati Inquirer headline read, "Smell of baked bread may be health hazard." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, ...
Added 3/23/1999
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. "I'd like to buy a bra ...
Added 3/15/1999
The world was stunned by the news this morning of the death of the
Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the
death occurred at approximately 8:24 AM. ...
Added 3/14/1999
In a crowded city, at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini-skirt with matching leather boots and jacket. ...
Added 3/13/1999
All babies start out with the same number of raw cells which,
over nine months, develop into a complete female baby. The problem
occurs when cells are instructed by the little ...
Added 3/11/1999
HOW TO BE A MORON IN AMERICA
Latest Entries in the Moron Award Sweepstakes.
Not quite stupid enough for the Darwin awards, but they are working on
it.
A man walked into a ...
Added 3/9/1999
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers
stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign
on the door saying
"NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR ...
Added 3/4/1999
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a
pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is
in the air. Marie leans ...
Added 3/3/1999
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and
while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick ...
Added 3/3/1999
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps
with everyone at the party except you.
What's the ...
Added 3/2/1999
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow
isn't looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as ...
Added 2/28/1999
Recently a Ft. Lauderdale advertising agency launched a billboard campaign (including the inside and outside of buses) that included 17 different messages from God. This ...
Added 2/25/1999
"SMOKING KILLS. AND IF YOU'RE KILLED, YOU'VE LOST A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE."
Brooke Shields
"THE PRESIDENT HAS KEPT ALL OF THE PROMISES HE INTENDED TO KEEP."
...
Added 2/24/1999
A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices ...
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