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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when
I'm lying under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind ...
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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The following pseudo-mathematical proof was posted to rec.games.board:
What about this:
We know that women like two things, your time and your money,
therefore...
women ...
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Microsoft complies with "truth in advertising" requirements...
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While, I was recovering from surgery and spending most of the day in bed, my seven year old son asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend. I told him the television was my boyfriend, ...
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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
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"19 Things That Took Me 50 Years To Learn" By Dave Barry
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in ...
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Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. There is, however, a dark secret about this "comedy" you may never have realized. The island is a direct ...
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Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
- Red Buttons
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you ...
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LITTLE JOHNNY ON... PHILOSOPHY:
A Teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
He replies, "None, they ...
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by Curtis Wiggins Golf Ball + Tennis Racquet + Indoor Hallway = Awesome! No toilet paper, no paper towels... got coffee filters? You can make pizza with Bisquick and spaghetti. You ...
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by Curtis Wiggins For all my dear Christian friends who have made an annaul tradition of getting bent this time of year about the use of the term "X-mas", please kindly consider ...
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Visit these friends and sponsors of The Manbottle Library
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"A Treatise on the Importance of Smoke" by Joseph Lucas
All electrical components and wiring harnesses depend on proper
circuit functioning, which is the transmission of ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who immediatley comes over to her. When he arrives, she seductively ...
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Interpretations of nature from junior high, high school, and college test
papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers (spelling
errors preserved)....
"When ...
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