Humor
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In response to Larry's E-mail which mentions sincerity...I would like to share one of my favorite sayings (this is good for Sales and all Front Desk personnel within the company). ...
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge ...
One Monday morning, Little Johnny's kindergarten
teacher, Miss Needlemeyer, decided to have a special
show-and-tell session in which each child could tell about
something ...
For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
See if they can do it again.
For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask them how they did it and ...
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was ...
A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to his bedside his three closest advisors: his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer. "I know," he says, they say 'you can't take ...
If IBM made toasters...
They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six ...
The Top 17 Rejected Titles for the Movie "Twister"
17. "Totally Gone With The Wind"
16. "Lift and Separate"
15. "Boys on the Side-Of My Barn"
14. "Summer Film So Full ...
Some WIN95 humor....
Bill Gates dies in a car accident.
He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not ...
A little know fact that most engineers, technicians and auto mechanics overlook is the magic of smoke.
Yes, smoke.
It is the guts of most everything that works.........
...
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you
asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these
problems; my arthritis is acting up, my ...
100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a ...
20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a single one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer or wine in the fridge. ...
A dictionary for software engineers:
Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in
getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
Beta: Software ...
A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to ...
A story about genies...
A husband and wife were out enjoying a round of golf about to tee off on the third hole which was lined by beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and ...
A Visit to the Stock Yard
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bull's stall states: "This ...
S C I E N T I S T S D I S C O V E R N E W E L E M E N T
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by university
physicists. The element, ...
It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
It is important that a man makes you laugh.
It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't ...
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, and he heard
a loud voice ask him, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have
anyone to talk to. Then ...
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sunrises and ...
Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
Without thinking she simply replied, "No peer ...
At a nursing home in Florida, a group of Seniors
were sitting around talking about all their ailments.
"My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup
of coffee," ...
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