Little Johnny (show-and-tell)
One Monday morning, Little Johnny's kindergarten
teacher, Miss Needlemeyer, decided to have a special
show-and-tell session in which each child could tell about
something exciting that happened at home over the weekend.
Mary Anne related the tale of how her cat, Clawz, was
stuck up in their elm tree for a whole hour before the
firemen came.
Peter explained how his mother burned their dinner and
set the kitchen on fire, but the whole family laughed about
it later.
Erin told the class about her new baby brother was born
Sunday afternoon.
Finally it was time for Little Johnny to tell his tale.
Now, Miss Needlemeyer wasn't terribly fond of Little Johnny
because he always needed to out-do the other children.
Also, his show-and-tell presentations tended to be rather
graphic at times.
Little Johnny stood and walked calmly to the front of
the classroom. He picked up the chalk and made a small,
round dot on the chalkboard. He then returned to his seat
without a word.
"Uh, Johnny, what is that?" asked Miss Needlemeye,
pointing to the dot on the board.
"That's a period," replied Little Johnny. "My sister
missed one this weekend."
Miss Needlemeyer gasped but re-collected herself.
"Do you know what that means, Johnny?" she asked.
"Hell if I know," replied the eloquent Johnny. "All I
know is that after Sis told everybody, Daddy shit, Momma
fainted and the man next door shot himself."
