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A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line
of judgement. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed
to march right through the ...
Please ready the following survey titled "Are you a Man?"...
1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin ...
1. "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod)
2. "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old)
3. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to ...
1. I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
2. Warning... I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
3. Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time.
4. Why ...
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar
having a drink when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and
says, " Whoever can say liver and ...
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding
bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull
mated 50 times ...
COMPUTER, POWER STRIP I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not ...
A baby was born so advanced , he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked. "yes, I am," said the doctor. The baby said, ...
MessageContributed by: Deborah Twonames
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of
Tampax and proceeded to the check-out counter.
The man at the ...
When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was very, very
attracted to him, and during her questions about his life she asked him
how he managed for sex.
"Tarzan not ...
TASTE TEST
A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first-graders using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave all of the children the same kind of lifesaver, one at a ...
In the seventh century, Queen Etheldrida of Northumbria developed a throat tumor, which she regarded as divine punishment for her life of extravagance. Before her death, she ...
From a State Trooper in Garland, TX: Friends, My wife Toni is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to, "Hey y'all, hold my beer and watch ...
Why we should feel sorry for tech support people:
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." ...
THE TECHNO TERMS DICTIONARY
486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
...
Just in case you think you are TC (technologically challenged).
The following is an excerpt taken from a Wall Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering changing the ...
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she ...
The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, "Is this William Wagenhoss?" This didn't sound anything like my ...
There was an Arizona phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers and the boss had to choose between a team of Irish guys and a team of Polish guys. ...
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone
failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when
it did ring, her pet dog ...
1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all! 2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT! 3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...
A proud Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar,
announcing that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas
baby boy" weighing 20 pounds. WOW! (Congratulations ...
A business owner in Texas was confused about paying an invoice minus the
early payment discount, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help. He called her ...
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