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Added 7/16/1998
Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood
late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they
are.
The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, ...
Added 7/14/1998
A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:
"This is the second time I have written you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I kind of ...
Added 7/13/1998
"Lunch"
An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck were doing construction work on
scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and
the Irishman said, ...
Added 7/13/1998
A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he
heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is
exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan
of ...
Added 7/7/1998
Redneck Family Tree
Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair ...
Added 7/1/1998
John Doe, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. John works independently,without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. John never
...
Added 6/30/1998
President Boris Yeltsin called Clinton with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried.
"My people's favorite form of birth control! ...
Added 6/26/1998
Redneck Rules of Etiquette
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at ...
Added 6/25/1998
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect ...
Added 6/25/1998
WHERE DO CONSULTANTS GO WHEN THEY DIE?
There once was a consultant who lived her whole life without ever taking advantage of any of the people she worked for. In fact, she made ...
Added 6/25/1998
Why we should feel sorry for tech support people:
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." ...
Added 6/25/1998
The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography)...
I had someone who wanted ...
Added 6/24/1998
Here's a new excel Feature which is realy cool. Try it.
1) On a new worksheet, Press F5
2) Type X97:L97 and hit enter
3) Press the tab key
4) Hold CTRL-SHFT
5) Click ...
Added 6/24/1998
Windows ‘98 source code. /* TOP SECRET Microsoft© Code Project: Chicago™ Projected release-date: Summer 1994 */ #include "win31.h" #include "win95.h" #include ...
Added 6/23/1998
Dear Mom and Dad:
It has been four months since I left for college. I have been remiss in
writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness. I will bring you up to
date now, ...
Added 6/22/1998
Top 10 Ways to tell if a redneck has been on a computer:
10. Monitor is up on blocks
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them
8. The 6 front keys have rotted out
...
Added 6/20/1998
Rejected Motel 6 Slogans
16. We're working on that smell thing, too.
15. Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car.
14. As seen on "COPS"
13. If We'd ...
Added 6/19/1998
Two guys named Bob and Dave went camping in the mountains and after
spending four days together, were getting a little testy. One
morning, Dave says, "You know, we're starting ...
Added 6/19/1998
When the immigrants landed in America the land of opportunity, where
it was said the streets were paved with Gold they found out three
things.
1. The streets were not paved ...
Added 6/18/1998
A dwarf with a lisp went to a horse show to buy a mare. He wandered around
until he came across a beautiful mare inside a small enclosure with a farmer
standing at the gate. He ...
Added 6/16/1998
Australian Police have been totally unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam:
A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply ...
Added 6/16/1998
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket-If ...
Added 6/10/1998
WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN
"I'm going fishing."
Really means, "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand
by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by ...
Added 6/5/1998
For those who are unfamiliar with the Darwin Award, it is given to those
who prove by their actions that Darwin was right... People that stupid
don't survive long enought to ...
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