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President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an
administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope was
sent to hell.
The Pope explained the ...
Queen Elizabeth's husband, Prince Philip, recently got into trouble for
telling a young boy he was too fat to be an astronaut. Here then are a
few other choice quotes from ...
A guy named Bill receives a free ticket to the SuperBowl from
his company.
Unfortunately, when Bill arrives at the stadium, he realizes the
seat is in the last row in the ...
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a
desert. Although it had no significant value, Congress said. "Someone
may steal from it at night."
...
John Doe, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. John works independently,without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. John never
...
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.
...
1. Two vultures boarded a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess stops them and says "sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."
2. NASA recently sent a ...
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the
morning. "I'm not getting out of ...
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS:
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
A: "Dam!"
...
How do you get a Nun pregnant?
Dress her up like a choirboy
Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them, "I must tell
you something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank goodness," says an elderly nun at ...
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing ...
What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.
What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
If a light sleeper ...
What do you get if you put the Spice Girls in the toaster?
Pop tarts.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa
Did you hear about the guy ...
A recent study found out which days men prefer to have sex. It was found
that men preferred to engage in sexual activity on the days that started
with the letter "T"'.
For ...
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
...
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the ...
Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A: A cherry float.
Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
A: 1 US leader
Q: What did the sign on the ...
I don't usually pass on news like this. I know you are busy; but sometimes we
have to pause and truly remember what life is about, so I pass on this sad, sad
news. There was a ...
Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: A tick falls off you when you die.
Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: When you see your ...
TRUE FUNNY STORIES
-
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she ...
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked
to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told
him that they only sold whole ...
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went ...
Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the Other
and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home After
we've been out drinking, ...
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