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Added 3/11/1999
HOW TO BE A MORON IN AMERICA
Latest Entries in the Moron Award Sweepstakes.
Not quite stupid enough for the Darwin awards, but they are working on
it.
A man walked into a ...
Added 3/9/1999
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers
stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign
on the door saying
"NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR ...
Added 3/4/1999
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a
pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is
in the air. Marie leans ...
Added 3/3/1999
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and
while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick ...
Added 3/3/1999
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps
with everyone at the party except you.
What's the ...
Added 3/2/1999
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow
isn't looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as ...
Added 2/28/1999
Recently a Ft. Lauderdale advertising agency launched a billboard campaign (including the inside and outside of buses) that included 17 different messages from God. This ...
Added 2/25/1999
"SMOKING KILLS. AND IF YOU'RE KILLED, YOU'VE LOST A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE."
Brooke Shields
"THE PRESIDENT HAS KEPT ALL OF THE PROMISES HE INTENDED TO KEEP."
...
Added 2/24/1999
A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices ...
Added 2/21/1999
A man is driving down a deserted highway, and notices a sign that reads..
SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 10 MILES
He thinks it was a figment of his imagination - ...
Added 2/21/1999
Top ten reasons God created Eve:
10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in
the garden because men hate to ask for directions.
9. God knew that Adam would one day ...
Added 2/20/1999
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their ...
Added 2/18/1999
Old and new concerns for people of the baby boom generation.
Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.
Then: Keg
Now: EKG.
Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux. ...
Added 2/17/1999
Brilliant Bankrobber
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." on
the back of a ...
Added 2/14/1999
A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He
asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between
potential and reality?"
His father ...
Added 2/12/1999
You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if:
1. You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
2. Your company welcome sign is ...
Added 2/11/1999
A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from
town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from
town. Things were getting hot and heavy ...
Added 2/10/1999
As you are receiving my note by e-mail, it's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider ...
Added 2/9/1999
A Redneck Valentine
Kudzu is green,
my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
A-flapping in the breeze. ...
Added 2/8/1999
If Men Ruled the World...
- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable
response to "I love you."
- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name ...
Added 2/8/1999
Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior
college, said during class, "Miss Smythe, would you please name
the organ of the human body, which under ...
Added 2/5/1999
BATHROOM GRAFFITI:
"To some it's a six pack, to me it's a support group."
"The poor folks in Arkansas won't be celebrating Thanksgiving this year,
they sent their turkey to ...
Added 2/5/1999
The Best Chain Letter a Woman Will Ever Get
This chain letter started in the hopes of bringing relief and happiness to tired housewives. It has, however, expanded its usefulness ...
Added 2/3/1999
Why Men Can't Win
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job ...
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