Humor
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PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can't See It
...
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to
decide who was in charge.
"I should be in charge", said the brain, "because I run all the
body's systems, so ...
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens ...
For anyone who spends any time at all in hotels...
"What to do with Hotel Soap"
Ever have one of those days?
The following letters are taken from an actual incident ...
A pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree", sighed the pheasant, "but I haven't got the energy."
Well, why ...
This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a Grape Nehi.
Surprised, the bartender looks around and says
"You ain't from around here... where you from, boy?".
The ...
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over
which one should go and answer the ...
A woman went into a pet shop to buy her husband a pet. After looking
around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. She
went to the counter and questioned the ...
Please distribute this to everyone (on Earth, that is) you know. When John Glenn returns from space, everybody dress in ape suits. We have 6 days in which to bury the Statue of ...
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the woman at the teller window "I want to open a damn checking account." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I ...
A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question
to ask you but I don't want to offend ...
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
- Red Buttons
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you ...
THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERNER SAY:
Duct Tape won't fix that.
Wrasslin's fake.
No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe.
Lisa Marie was lucky to ...
38 Reason's Why It's Great To Be A Woman
1.Free drinks.
2.Free dinners.
3.Free movies (you get the point).
4.You can hug your friend without wondering if she ...
If you're a kleptomanic, take something for it.
I hope I die quietly in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in
horror like his passengers.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now ...
Many colleges and businesses tend to strip the last name down to 6
characters and add the first and last initial to either the beginning
or end to make up an E-Mail address.
...
1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released ...
A man goes to Frederick's of Hollywood. He wants to buy his wife the most
sheer lingerie he can find. The woman behind the counter goes and gets an
outfit.
"This is $200," ...
1. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master. 2. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants...
A mother is with her 5 year old boy at the zoo when they reach the
elephant cage. The 5 year old boy looks with amazement at the large
beast and says to his mom, "What's that ...
Did you know that Bill Clinton is considering changing the Democratic seal
from a donkey to a condom, because it represents inflation, halts
production, and gives you a false ...
There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a
pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since
his last meal, he flew down and began ...
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes
over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the
woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her ...
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a
perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together
was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy ...
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