Humor
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Seen on the back of a biker's vest: If you can read this, my wife fell off.
Horn Broken, Watch for Finger
If you can read this, please flip me back over... (seen upside down, ...
Part 1
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys - all on different
levels,some climbing up. The monkeys on top look down and see a
tree full of smiling faces. The ...
A blonde went to her mail box several times before it was even time for the
postman to make his rounds.
A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was ...
Top 10 Blond Inventions
1) The water-proof towel
2) Solar powered flashlight
3) Submarine screen door
4) A book on how to read
5) Inflatable dart board
6) A ...
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young, newlywed
couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special requirements
for new ...
THE COWBOY WITHOUT A HORSE
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on
strangers, which he was. ...
Top ten advantages of being a leper:
10. No one notices if you're not wearing the latest fashion.
9. It's easy to get rid of door-to-door salesman.
8. No makeup is ...
"A friend of mine in Los Angeles put his mind to the oft-experienced
problem of facing modern situations for which there are no existing
words or phrases in the English ...
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black ...
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the
intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this ...
Marriage has driven more than one man to sex.
Marriage is a ceremony that turns your dreamboat into a barge.
Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be ...
WORDS OF WISDOM
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's ...
An old man went to the social security office to apply for benefits.
When asked to show his birth certificate he stated that he didn't have
one, so he removed his shirt and ...
The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?", I submit the following:
Michael Jordan makes over $300,000 a game. That = $10,000 a minute, at an ...
INSULTS
========
* Do they ever shut up on your planet?
* Earth is full. Go home.
* And which dwarf are you?
* If I throw a stick, will you leave?
* Whatever kind ...
MORE SIGNS THAT YOU'VE HAD "TOO MUCH OF THE 90S"
1. You worry about your microwave being year 2000 compliant.
2. You didn't realize Sunday was Easter until you read
your ...
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, ...
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation between a US naval
ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.
Radio conversation ...
Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to
the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if ...
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change ...
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN....
* Your potted plants stay alive.
* Having sex in a twin sized bed is absurd.
* You keep more food than beer in the ...
Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George Bush and Bill Clinton found
themselves following the famous Yellow Brick Road, on their way to
meet The Wizard. They were all missing just a ...
"The Five Commercials Aired During The Lewinsky/Walters
Interview" (and yes, these really did air during the interview)
5. Victoria's Secret lingerie.
4. Burger King - ...
Everything I Know I Learned In Corporate America
1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3. There is ...
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