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TEQUILA CHRISTMAS CAKE 1 cup water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup sugar 1 tsp. salt 1 cup of brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 1 bottle tequila 2 cups dried fruit Sample the ...
In 2001 five times more money was spent on breast
implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
That means that in 30 years there will be people
walking around with huge ...
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, the
wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,
"How should I know, that's ...
Three women had a very late night out drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home separately. They met the next day at the water cooler and compared notes ...
The board of health has proposed that warning signs be placed on booze
bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of pounding a pint or
two...
1. WARNING: ...
MORE SIGNS THAT YOU'VE HAD "TOO MUCH OF THE 90S"
1. You worry about your microwave being year 2000 compliant.
2. You didn't realize Sunday was Easter until you read
your ...
Official Moron Test
So how much of a moron are you?
It separates the dumb people from the really dumb people.
Answer the following 13 questions, then scroll down and check ...
THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES
- During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a
strip club at least once.
- All telephone numbers in ...
MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church
By Hank Vorjes
VATICAN CITY (AP) - In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square
this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican ...
REDMOND, Wash. - Nov. 14, 1997 - In direct response to accusations made
by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it
will be acquiring the federal ...
MICROSOFT VIRGIN
Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three
Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?
Her first husband was in Training, and ...
A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory.
"Dear Lord", he began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "Without you we are ...
My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. ...
A NEW TALENT
A young fellow walks into a talent agent's office and says he wants to break into show-biz, so the agent says "O.K. kid show me what you do". The kid tells some ...
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered
that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem,
NASA scientists spent a decade ...
A lady approaches her priest and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have
two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest ...
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers
stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign
on the door saying
"NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR ...
The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?", I submit the following:
Michael Jordan makes over $300,000 a game. That = $10,000 a minute, at an ...
Things You Should NEVER Say When Stopped by the Police!
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't ...
Some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and
our aging gracefully.
1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion
frames in six wild colors ...
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a ...
LOS ALAMOS - New Science Discovery
The fire at Los Alamos has one significant
consequence. A secret scientific document was
discovered in a bunker whose security ...
A man returns from travelling overseas and is feeling very ill. He goes to
see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital in to undergo
tests. The man wakes up after ...
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