Humor
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Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent which is being
renovated, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they
must not get even a drop of paint on ...
If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer...
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and
start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on ...
An older Polish man marries a younger Polish lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. In order to ...
The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they
spin to OZ. After a long walk down the yellow brick road, they finally
make it to the Emerald City and come ...
MESS TEST
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick
behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
TOY TEST
Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or ...
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place ...
Life`s Mathematics ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = ...
Here is a new set of rules for editing your writing.
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a ...
A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny
answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little
boy, is your mother home?"
...
Doesn't this make your job seem better?
A C-141 transport aircraft was preparing for departure from a base in
Thule, Greenland. They had been waiting for the truck to arrive ...
Some years ago, the Sultan of Brunei was becoming angry
as he had six children, all girls, and therefore had no son and
heir. Imagine his joy when one of his wives finally ...
Winterize your lawn, the big sign outside the garden store
commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and
watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I m supposed to ...
REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS DIFFICULT TO LEARN
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it ...
THINGS YOU CAN'T SAY WITH A HALLMARK
"Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder: What the f_ck was I thinking"
"Congratulations on your ...
Have you ever wished you could remember Norm's greetings on Cheers?
1. "What's shaking Norm?"
"All four cheeks & a couple of chins."
2. "What's new Normie?"
...
TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH . . .
If you think you're fat, you probably are . Don't ask us. We refuse to
answer.
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's ...
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, the
wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,
"How should I know, that's ...
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.
Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds - I celebrate
By kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
Paper ...
A little boy asked his Father, "What is politics?"
Father replied, "Let me put it this way: I am the breadwinner of the
family, so we will call me Capitalism. Your Mother is ...
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three
Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the
first pig was trying to accumulate the ...
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area ...
A man walks into the market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid
is spinning a 25 cent piece in the air and catching it between his
teeth. As they walk through the market ...
Gives the words "bad day" a whole new perspective...
Brian is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers out of
Louisiana and performs underwater repairs on offshore ...
A fierce tribe of warriors captured a Frenchman,an Englishman, and a New Yorker.The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to ...
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