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70-year old George went for his annual physical

70-year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing ...

SHE WAS SO BLONDE THAT....

SHE WAS SO BLONDE THAT.... She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She tripped over the cordless phone. At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here", she ...

TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA

TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA: 10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper 9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron 8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there ...

George Costanza's Tips for Working Hard

George Costanza's Tips for Working Hard 1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees ...

eBay

Another entry from the "you really can buy (almost) anything on eBay" file... Contributed by: Bloomberg News (via CNET.com news) eBay thwarts sale of presidential ...

BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN

BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN We got off the Titanic first. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. We get to flirt with systems support men ...

Postal Workers

A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, Poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, ...

Dogs and Cats

WHAT IS A CAT ? 1) Cats do what they want 2) They rarely listen to you 3) They're totally unpredictable 4) They whine when they are not happy 5) When you want to ...

A blonde dials 911...

A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering ...

Punch Lines

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick. What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka. ...

Studying Psychology

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, ...

Christmas in Japan

(from the AFU & Urban Legends Archive - www.urbanlegends.com) Financial Times, December 27, 1984: 'If Christmas cheer is easily assimilated into Japanese office parties ...

The Pope had become very ill...

The Pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors who were all quite skilled in the latest medical techniques. None of them could figure out how to cure him, or even ...

What do women really want?

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's ...

One Wish

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of the sudden he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a ...

Probably a true story...

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Although it had no significant value, Congress said. "Someone may steal from it at night." ...

Golf

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next ...

Ashes to ashes

A woman recently lost her husband. Their marriage had been a very lousy one, and she was relieved that he was finally gone. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. ...

Better with age

Strange Therapy Sessions A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual ...

Women

A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide ...

GILLIGAN'S ISLAND aka Hell

Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called GILLIGAN'S ISLAND. There is, however, a dark secret about this "comedy" you may never have realized. The island is a direct ...

Jesus and the redneck

The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and ...

Thought for the Day

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and ...

WARNING Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau

WARNING Issued By The Southern Tourism Bureau To All Visiting Yankees 1) Don't order steak at the Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day, so let them cook ...

 

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