Humor
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A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and ...
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?" God said ...
In the Birmingham Sunday Mercury (7th Jan 2001):
Worker dead at desk for 5 days
Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work out why no one noticed that one of their ...
1. "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod)
2. "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old)
3. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to ...
"Doc, I have a problem. My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, My
ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home
Sunday. I need 3 Viagra pills to ...
Judy, the editor of trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer.
So she called Dave, the computer guy, over to her desk. Dave clicked a
couple of buttons and ...
Redneck birth control
After having their 11th child, a Missouri couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his ...
The post office just recalled their newest stamps:
they had pictures of lawyers on them...and the people couldn't figure
out which side to spit on.
How are an apple and a ...
A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving." ...
The Gift
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday
and as they had not been dating very long, after careful
consideration, he decided a pair of ...
A Minnesotan dies and is sent to hell. He was a horrible man throughout
Life and the devil really wanted to punish him, so he puts him to work
Breaking up rocks with a ...
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
STYLE:
Men wake up as good-looking as ...
It may be hard to believe how times have
changed in the last 100 years.
"100 Years Ago"
The average life expectancy in the United States
was forty-seven.
Only 14 ...
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you ...
Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage!
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, ...
Thursday January 4 7:50 AM ET
Car Thieves Drink HIV-Infected Blood
RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - Two members of a gang of Brazilian car
thieves may have drank vials of ...
After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist
Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:
His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh
The brother who ate ...
Warning: Rape Drug Used on Men
PLEASE READ THIS, IT'S IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT
GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS
Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer ...
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for the maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers ...
George W. Bush quotes:
"Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it."
"It's one thing about insurance, that's a Washington term."
"I think we ...
Monday, December 11, 2000
BERLIN (Reuters) - A lovesick German who had second thoughts over a
suicide attempt nearly died minutes later when he accidentally blew his ...
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene
in Washington, D.C. this Christmas.
This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able
to ...
How to settle the 2000 Presidential Election:
Ok, Folks. I've given the people in Florida plenty of time to get this
election finished. Now It is my turn:
#1: Al Gore ...
I am a BAD American.
I like big cars, big guns, and big tits. I believe the money I make
belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary
with a bad ...
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