Humor
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An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first ...
After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime ...
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. My wife really ...
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get ...
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
From me ("the Wishor") to you (hereinafter called the "Wishee"): Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially ...
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where ...
TEQUILA CHRISTMAS CAKE 1 cup water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup sugar 1 tsp. salt 1 cup of brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 1 bottle tequila 2 cups dried fruit Sample the ...
City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl named Mary on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike" the Cop said "did Santa bring it to ...
You find out interesting things when you have sons, like... 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray ...
Lesson 1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When ...
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she ...
Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend,just as I've done. I don't care if you lick ...
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
Texan cowboy stopped at a restaurant in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, ...
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. ...
My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. ...
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went ...
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when ...
This is a rather large guy I know who typed these observations from an airplane... ok this is the up date from the airplane. ya ya i know you aint supposed to use the internet from ...
While watching March Madness, my wife and I got into a conversation About life and death and the need for living wills. During the course of the conversation, I told her that I ...
A GUY GOES TO A SUPERMARKET AND NOTICES A BEAUTIFUL BLONDE WAVE AT HIM AND SAY'S HELLO. HE'S RATHER TAKEN ABACK, BECAUSE HE CAN'T PLACE ...
Mike never dreamed that slowly cruising on his Harley Davidson Fat-Boy motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did Mike suspect. Mike ...
A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...
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