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Just turned 50...
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned
to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow ...
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Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the ...
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Happy Halloween
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. She got a
terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being
a devoted ...
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A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came
in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and
another customer asked, "What ...
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The answer to the last question, for anyone left wondering...
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HOW TO TELL WHEN YOUR FOOD IS SPOILED
======================================
Whether you are a mom who cooks for many, a bachelor who cooks
on rare occasions for himself, ...
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A local florist just went out of business, but it was his own fault. He kept getting his orders mixed up. One woman received flowers sent by her husband, who was at a business ...
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A dictionary for software engineers:
Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in
getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
Beta: Software ...
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As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...
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Yes, we exchange links! Guidelines for linking to The Manbottle Library
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Who wrote the Christmas song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"?
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Be advised that terrorists may attempt to pass themselves off as ordinary American citizens and may even attempt to change their hair color, wardrobe or appearance in order to ...
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Links to other sources of questionable humor and arcane knowledge
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The day after losing his wife in a diving accident,
a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska
State Troopers.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. ...
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This is from a contest on Long Island. The requirements were to use the
two words Lewinsky (the Intern) and Kaczynski (the Unabomber) in a
limerick. Here are the three winners: ...
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Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children. Soon
after the last child is born her husband dies. A few weeks later she
remarries and over the following ...
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Important! I am not usually into scare-mongering and internet-based rumor
spreading, however this came to me earlier today and it is something I felt
I ought to share. I am ...
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Oh balls...
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was ...
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"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman
wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier
noticed a remote control for a ...
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This man at the side of the road was fixing his flat tire. A
police car stops behind his and the officer strolls to him to
offer help. The man says he's doing OK and doesn't ...
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One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have ...
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Oil Change Instructions for Women:
1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. Fifteen minutes later, ...
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