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WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
You never wonder whether your dog is good enough ...
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Here are some quotes from Hollywood Squares Game Show in the 70's, when
game show's responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are
now. God bless Paul Lynde, Rose ...
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"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman
wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier
noticed a remote control for a ...
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The following are actual statements made during court cases:
Judge: I know you, don't I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: ...
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The answer to the last question, for anyone left wondering...
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What was the first national anthem?
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ALBERT EINSTEIN'S RIDDLE
ARE YOU IN THE TOP 2% OF INTELLIGENT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD?
SOLVE THE RIDDLE AND FIND OUT.
There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and ...
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A lady in her late 40's went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift.
The doctor told her of a new procedure called "The Knob." This small knob
is planted on the back of a ...
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Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean)
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in Deliverance.")
...
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A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the
intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this ...
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and the moral of the story is.....
One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of story and then conclude with the moral of that story. ...
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of
Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out
of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes ...
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THE WORLD'S BEST PICKUP LINES
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell
her I just met the girl ...
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by Curtis Wiggins Golf Ball + Tennis Racquet + Indoor Hallway = Awesome! No toilet paper, no paper towels... got coffee filters? You can make pizza with Bisquick and spaghetti. You ...
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A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy Doc, you're ...
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. ...
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Thanks to an inside source, we've discovered the real story behind the Enron
documents...
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"After the lights were on and I saw a butt naked guy on my table I thought,
'Wow, this is weirder than I thought.' "
- unidentified homeowner in Muncie, Indiana, after ...
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Q What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out ...
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How many actors/actresses have appeared on both Cheers and Star Trek
(including movies)?
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FRIENDSHIP POEM
For those tired of the usual "friend" poems, here is a touch of reality.
* When you are sad... I will get you drunk, and help you plot revenge
against the ...
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A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by
a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.
He said, "I'm doing some research for ...
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