Humor
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MessageContributed by: Deborah Twonames
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of
Tampax and proceeded to the check-out counter.
The man at the ...
Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates, and are comparing stories on how they had died.
"I froze to death," said the first woman.
"You froze to death, how horrible!" ...
Sixteen reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women:
1) Airplanes usually kill you quickly, a woman takes her time.
2) Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a ...
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later
discovered to be a public school teacher, was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
of a compass, a ...
Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children. Soon
after the last child is born her husband dies. A few weeks later she
remarries and over the following ...
In a trial, in a small SC town, a prosecuting attorney called his first
witness to the stand.
She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth
and ...
I was happy. My girlfriend and I were dating for over a year, and so we
decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way; my friends
encouraged me, and my girlfriend? ...
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social ...
A Dutchman, an Australian, and a New Zealander are in Saudi Arabia,
sharing a smuggled crate of booze when Saudi police rush in and arrest
them. The mere possession of alcohol ...
A Blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. tee-shirt.
"Why are you wearing a Thank God it's Friday tee-shirt on Monday?"
"Oh shit!" the blonde says, "I ...
Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management
technique. Recommended in all the latest psychological texts.
The funny thing is that it really works...
1. ...
In a trial, in a small SC town, a prosecuting attorney called his first
witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth,
the whole truth and nothing ...
Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. ...
A very confident James Bond walks into the English bar and takes a seat next
to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks
at his watch for a ...
According to a news report, a certain private school
in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use
lipstick and ...
Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE BITCH.
-
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY ...
In a mental institution, a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient
pretending as if he's driving a car, with his hands at 10 and 2. The
nurse asks him, "Charlie! What are ...
A very confident James Bond walks into the English bar and takes a
seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then
casually looks at his watch for a ...
A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line
of judgement. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed
to march right through the ...
The doctor, who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life,
finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a
list of all the medicines ...
This will warm your heart. Just when you lost faith in human kindness:
Someone who teaches at a Middle School in Safety Harbor, Florida forwarded
the following letter. The ...
THE LOST CHAPTER OF GENESIS:
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.
So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have
anyone to ...
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, this couple has a
fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heaven's gate waiting on
St. Peter. In conversation ...
A woman went to the Doctor's office, where she was seen by one of the
new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she
burst out, screaming as she ran down ...
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