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Added 1/1/1990
"When we yelled 'Sacrifice the chocolate rabbit' they jumped out of their parked cars and started to circle us. They were praying hard. It was really chaos."
- High Priestess ...
Added 1/1/1990
Does the statement, "We've always done it that way" ring any bells?
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd ...
Added 1/1/1990
contributed by: Duke Duquette
How can you possibly not love the Irish?
Real "Personal ads" in the Dublin News
-
Heavy drinker, 35, Cor
Added 1/1/1990
20) Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
19) Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18) Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17) Too ...
Added 1/1/1990
RECIPE FOR A JOYOUS HOLIDAY MEAL FROM THE ALTERNATIVE GOURMET WHOLE ROASTED REINDEER WITH CHRISTMAS ELF STUFFING
This recipe has been around for many years in many fashions but ...
Added 1/1/1990
REJECTED STATE MOTTOS
ALABAMA
Literacy ain't everything
Ya want fries with dat?
ALASKA
Come, freeze your butt off
ARIZONA
Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds ...
Added 1/1/1990
Rest in Peace, Colonel Klink
Thursday December 07 10:06 PM EST
Werner Klemperer, the man guaranteed tube immortality as the bumbling Colonel Klink on TV's Hogan's Heroes, ...
Added 1/1/1990
Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take
a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim,
Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical ...
Added 1/1/1990
The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take a civil-service exam.
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few ...
Added 1/1/1990
Let's get this straight.
Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
It's ...
Added 1/1/1990
MARINE CORPS
* Bring a weapon. Preferably, bring at least two.
* Bring all of your friends who have weapons.
* Bring their friends who have weapons.
* Anything worth ...
Added 1/1/1990
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it
doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and ...
Added 1/1/1990
A New Theorem on Salary states:
Engineers, Teachers, Programmers and Scientists can never earn as much salary as business executives and sales people.
This theorem can now ...
Added 1/1/1990
The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was
greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, ...
Added 1/1/1990
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.
But, if it sits in your living ...
Added 1/1/1990
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. ...
Added 1/1/1990
Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were watching the folks go by from their park bench. Ethel said, "You know, Mabel, I've been reading this 'Sex and Marriage' book and all they ...
Added 1/1/1990
An elderly couple was watching television, and they only spoke to one another during the commercials. During one of those commercials, the husband asked his wife, "Whatever ...
Added 1/1/1990
The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem
to have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it
difficult to remember what language ...
Added 1/1/1990
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has an attack while he's in the bathtub?
A: Throw in your dirty laundry.
Added 1/1/1990
Escargot saves the day!
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status
figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted ...
Added 1/1/1990
Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter.
Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees "The President Must
Die!" written in urine ...
Added 1/1/1990
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
Added 1/1/1990
NOTICE FROM CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES:
Afghanistan Cruise
We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W.Bush ...
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