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Added 1/1/1990
Thursday July 26 7:51 AM ET
Experimental Pigs Turned Into Sausages
LONDON (Reuters) - Three genetically modified pigs were turned into sausages after being stolen from a ...
Added 1/1/1990
Four presidents are on a cruise ship which is taking on water and sinking quickly.
Ford yells: "Man the lifeboats!"
Carter yells: "Women & children first"
Nixon yells: ...
Added 1/1/1990
Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, ...
Added 1/1/1990
The air traffic dispatchers in Frankfurt Germany are notorious for their lack of tolerance and patience. They act as if the pilot should know everything and should not request ...
Added 1/1/1990
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar:
FREE BEER
FREE BEER
FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST!
So the guy asks the bartender ...
Added 1/1/1990
A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second ...
Added 1/1/1990
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to
get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she
came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had the most ...
Added 1/1/1990
A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years
before the Gulf War, and she had noticed how women customarily
walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. ...
Added 1/1/1990
A heart-warming story of the advances of women in achieving equality around the world...
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. ...
Added 1/1/1990
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher ...
Added 1/1/1990
Exercise program for Those Of Us Getting On in Years.
I thought I would let you in on a little secret I've found
for building arm and shoulder muscles. You might wish to adopt ...
Added 1/1/1990
An engineer, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and
went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told him, "You've been a good
man and your motorcycles have changed ...
Added 1/1/1990
Legless Man Wanted in Pants Heist
- Rueters recently reported that a man with no legs is wanted in West Vancouver for allegedly stealing 10 pairs of pants from The Gap. They ...
Added 1/1/1990
ACTUAL NEWS HEADLINES
GATORS TO FACE SEMINOLES WITH PETERS OUT
The Tallahassee Bugle
MESSIAH CLIMAXES IN CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS
The Anchorage Alaska Times
...
Added 1/1/1990
Elmer, an 80 year-old stumbled into the doctor's office all
excited and in a tither.
"doc .. I've lost my hearing!" Elmer yelled.
"let's examine the problem," the doc said. ...
Added 1/1/1990
Heaven is when you have…
an American salary
a British home
Chinese food
a Swiss economy
an Italian body
Japanese technology
an African tool
an Indian wife ...
Added 1/1/1990
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps
into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow ...
Added 1/1/1990
Dear Santa,
I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond
earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little
thing, and I want ...
Added 1/1/1990
There were two old boys from Alabama who loved to fish. They wanted to do some ice fishing that they'd heard about in Canada, so they took off to try it. The lake was frozen ...
Added 1/1/1990
How would our lifes be different if Microsoft built cars?
1. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas.
2. You would constantly be pressured to upgrade your car.
3. You ...
Added 1/1/1990
Did you ever wonder what driving to the store would be like if
operating systems ran your car? (not unless your a systems geek)
-
MS-DOS: You get in the car and ...
Added 1/1/1990
A little girl was playing in her backyard when she spotted two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
...
Added 1/1/1990
A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day. They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, ...
Added 1/1/1990
A young hotshot gets a job with the IRS. His first
assignment is to audit an old rabbi. He thinks he'll
have a little fun with the old rabbi, so he says,
"Rabbi, what do you ...
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