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Added 1/1/1990
Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two Aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
You spend the ...
Added 1/1/1990
A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be ...
Added 1/1/1990
- Gifts for Children -
This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want. They spend months and months ...
Added 1/1/1990
Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in
various church bulletins.
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck ...
Added 1/1/1990
People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each ...
Added 1/1/1990
Comedians' Take on Election Events
By The Associated Press
"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno'':
"They had trucks in Florida bringing the ballots to Tallahassee. In fact, ...
Added 1/1/1990
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
- Anderson, Jeremy S.
If you put a billion monkeys in ...
Added 1/1/1990
Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless me Father for I
have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest says, "Is
that you, Tommy?" "Yes, Father, it is I." ...
Added 1/1/1990
Brian was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. ...
Added 1/1/1990
A consultant dies and goes to heaven. He reaches the pearly
gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners
and chanting his name. After a few minutes St. Peter ...
Added 1/1/1990
In light of the times and with the market in the turmoil that it is, these mergers may not be too far fetched ...
1. XEROX and WURLITZER (They're going to make reproductive ...
Added 1/1/1990
There is no arguing with cowboy logic. A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote ...
Added 1/1/1990
For all you lovers of good writing:
This year's winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, AKA Dark and Stormy Night Contest. These are the 10 winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton ...
Added 1/1/1990
You can view all of the Darwin Awards at http://www.darwinawards.com/
(We have removed actual Darwin Awards items to avoid possible copyright infringement.)
Added 1/1/1990
Dear Abby -
I am a Vietnam-era deserter from the U. S. Army, and I have a second cousin who works for Microsoft. My mother peddles Nazi hate literature to Girl Scouts and my ...
Added 1/1/1990
Thursday August 30 8:00 AM ET
Disabled Mississippi Man to Cut Off Feet on Web
LUMBERTON, Miss. (Reuters) - A disabled Mississippi man said on Wednesday he was planning to ...
Added 1/1/1990
Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest ...
Added 1/1/1990
Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word, maybe this could explain:
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess ...
Added 1/1/1990
Congress, the press, and the bureaucracy too often focus on how much money or effort is spent, rather than whether the money or effort actually achieves the announced goal.
When ...
Added 1/1/1990
Drunk Finds Cigarettes And Gasoline Don't Mix
Wednesday February 28 10:45 AM ET
BRISBANE (Reuters) - A drunk man who lit a cigarette while filling
a jerry can with ...
Added 1/1/1990
An Alexander County Deputy pulled a car over on I-57 about 2 miles north of
the Missouri state line.
When the deputy asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered ...
Added 1/1/1990
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, ...
Added 1/1/1990
Feudalism
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk.
Fascism
You have two cows.
The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you ...
Added 1/1/1990
It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home ...
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