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Added 3/31/1998
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few
weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo ...
Added 3/29/1998
An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and
chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.
As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next ...
Added 3/27/1998
10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:
10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
9) Duct tape won't fix that
8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's
...
Added 3/27/1998
and the moral of the story is.....
One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of story and then conclude with the moral of that story. ...
Added 3/27/1998
Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally
sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in
Vermont as far away from humanity as ...
Added 3/26/1998
A baby was born so advanced , he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked. "yes, I am," said the doctor. The baby said, ...
Added 3/25/1998
THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS..
THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN. "Members of Congress, people of America, I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not ...
Added 3/24/1998
A 93 year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world.
After considering various methods of doing away with herself, ...
Added 3/24/1998
An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget
many little things around the house. They were afraid that this could be
dangerous, as one of them may ...
Added 3/24/1998
A woman was trying to do her laundry one day, when her washing machine
suddenly broke down. Distraught, she called her husband at the office and said,
"Honey, can you please ...
Added 3/23/1998
A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and
feels really good about the result. On his way home, he stops at a
newsstand and buys a paper. Before ...
Added 3/23/1998
The following are actual statements made during court cases:
Judge: I know you, don't I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: ...
Added 3/23/1998
REDNECK SEX TEST
1. The clitoris is a type of flower. True or False
2. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit. True or False
3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird. True or ...
Added 3/23/1998
THE CONFESSIONAL
There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The priest said, ...
Added 3/22/1998
Rejected Hallmark Cards:
So your daughter's a hooker
And it spoiled your day
Look at the bright side
She's a really good lay.
You totalled your car
And can't ...
Added 3/22/1998
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "f_ck." It is the one magical word which ,just by its sound, can describe pain, ...
Added 3/19/1998
It was the accepted practice in Babylonia 4000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead ...
Added 3/18/1998
LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he ...
Added 3/18/1998
More little Johnny! One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, ...
Added 3/18/1998
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains ...
Added 3/18/1998
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now, ...
Added 3/17/1998
It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was
discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light
on the question, "Where do pets come ...
Added 3/15/1998
The Top 14 Nicknames for the President's Member
14. The Speaker of the House
13. Free Willy
12. Presidential Erection
11. The Sin Doctor
10. Hail to the Beef
9. ...
Added 3/12/1998
An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded
by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he
says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm ...
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