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The following quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or
not you are qualified to be a professional.
The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think ...
Did you hear about the new 3 Million dollar Arkansas State lottery?
The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.
++++++++++++++
What does a divorce in ...
A man who reeked of alcohol flopped on a subway seat next to a
priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with
red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of rum was ...
Here's ten excuses for you not to come to work tomorrow:
1) The voices told me to clean my gun.
2) Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
3) I have contracted an ...
Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
Without thinking she simply replied, "No peer ...
A woman recently lost her husband. Their marriage had been a very lousy
one, and she was relieved that he was finally gone. She had him cremated
and brought his ashes home.
...
A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he
pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to
write with it. Realizing his mistake, he ...
In a survey, 80 percent of women thought their ass was too fat,
15 percent said their ass was too thin,
and the other five percent said they didn't care - they would have ...
Dear recipient, Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender ...
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says
that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and ...
An old farmer named George went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl
asked "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?"
The old farmer said "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Where ...
At a nursing home in Florida, a group of Seniors
were sitting around talking about all their ailments.
"My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup
of coffee," ...
An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his
boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip,
the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred ...
Pat and Mick are driving through the Northern Territory in Australia when
they are pulled over by the Police. The Police Officer walks over to the
car and taps on the window ...
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, ...
This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died
in an accident. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due
to her interest in health ...
BACKSEAT DRIVER
A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer.
The following exchange takes place.... The man says, "What's
the problem officer?"
Officer: ...
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. Curious, the boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who ...
I am a BAD American.
I like big cars, big guns, and big tits. I believe the money I make
belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary
with a bad ...
You Know You're Having a Bad Day When...
Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists.
You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly ...
Place of Balance
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired ...
A man is caught, by a forest ranger, sitting at a makeshift campfire, and to the ranger's horror, eating a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day ...
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, ...
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the ...
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