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Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't:
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
...
Number10:
"Scattered @#$% ing showers, my ass!"
- Noah, 4314 BC
Number 9:
"How the @#$% did you work that out?"
- Pythagorus, 126 BC
Number 8:
"You want WHAT ...
Actual tourist questions as complied by the Tampa Bay Convention &
Visitors Bureau...
- Is Sunday brunch only served on Sunday?
- My sister always wanted to come to ...
A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor
traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless
hour for his case to ...
What a woman says:
Cmon...This place is a mess!
You and I need to clean.
Your pants are on the floor
and you'll have no clothes
if we don't do laundry now!
What ...
The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography)...
I had someone who wanted ...
Trent Dilfer recently returned home and had an incredibly hard time
getting into the front door. It seems someone painted an end zone in
front of the house.
Trent Dilfer was ...
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you
would have produced enough sound energy to heat one
cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it )
If you farted consistently ...
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
...
Some Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School Or College:
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television
were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Coca Cola ...
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later
discovered to be a public school teacher, was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
of a compass, a ...
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of
her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers
the window, and she says ...
True bravery is a guy arriving home late after a boy's night out, being assaulted by his wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "You still cleaning, or are you gonna be ...
True story - Neil Armstrong
Truth is stranger than fiction
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong
first walked on the moon, not only gave his famous
"one small step ...
I sent out an email message, on MS Exchange, to all of my application users informing them to modify their PC's regional date style to mm/dd/yyyy. This application resides on the ...
Well, it is now the Christmas season, and I think
it is time for the twelve letters of Christmas...
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 14, ...
For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
See if they can do it again.
For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask them how they did it and ...
Identical twin brothers die at about the same time. One lived a
godly life, good husband and father, reputable businessman,
lots of community service, etc. One was a ...
Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression ...
Twas the night of Thanksgiving.
Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned - ...
Two men are in a locker room. One notices the other has a cork in
his rectum. He says, "How'd you get a cork in you rectum?"
"I was walking along the beach and I tripped over ...
Friday October 5 8:30 AM ET
Underpants Fail to Mask Robber's Identity
OSLO (Reuters) - A drunken Norwegian who pulled a pair of underpants over his face and robbed a post ...
Unlikely Marriages
If Kitty Carlisle married Conway Twitty, she'd be Kitty Twitty.
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married ...
To my friends, thanks to you sending me urban legend chain letters in 2003:
I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing
toilet stains.
I ...
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