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When you get older...

Added 8/28/1999
When you get older... You don't know real embarrassment until your hip sets off a metal detector. She's getting crows feet around her eyes. And I'll tell you, that crow has ...

The chicken and the egg . . .

Added 8/26/1999
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette and has a satisfied smile on its face, whilst the egg is frowning and looking a tad put out. The ...

Jake was on his deathbed...

Added 8/25/1999
Jake was on his deathbed while his wife, Becky, maintained a steady vigil by his side. As she held his fragile hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his, ...

Men Jokes

Added 8/23/1999
It's "Let's pick on men instead of blondes" time... What do you call a handcuffed man?............Trustworthy. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath ...

Nursing home

Added 8/17/1999
One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a ...

Jesus vs. Satan

Added 8/12/1999
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who managed to get the most out of their computer. This had been going on for days and God was tired of hearing all of the ...

Something to offend everyone...

Added 8/12/1999
NOT FOR DISTRIBUTION How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital? He's the one blowing the foam off of his bedpan Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A ...

Courtroom humor

Added 8/10/1999
These are things people actually said in court, word for word: Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Eve

Useful Tidbits

Added 8/10/1999
Next time you find yourself running dry on interesting tidbits of conversational matter ... Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law: "After having ...

Top 15 Women's T-shirt Slogans

Added 8/9/1999
Top 15 Women's T-shirt Slogans: 1. Next mood swing: 6 minutes. 2. I hate everybody, and you're next. 3. And your point is...? 4. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ...

Management

Added 8/4/1999
management

Colors

Added 8/2/1999
When I was born - I was BLACK When I grow up - I am BLACK When I am sick - I am BLACK When I go out in the sun - I am BLACK When I go out in the cold - I am BLACK ...

Labor Pains

Added 8/2/1999
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the ...

Interview

Added 7/29/1999
The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a ...

Things Men Know

Added 7/29/1999
Men know that Mother Nature's best aphrodisiac is still a naked woman. Men know that PMS is Mother Nature's way of telling you to get out of the house. Men know that if she ...

Cuckoo clock

Added 7/27/1999
Just after I got married, I was invited out for a night with "the boys." I told the misses that I would be home by midnight ... promise! Well, the yarns were being spun and the ...

Metrics

Added 7/23/1999
USEFUL METRIC CONVERSIONS 1 million microphones: 1 phone 1 million phones: 1 megaphone 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds 10 ...

John John Found Found

Added 7/21/1999
The body of JFK Jr. has been found, so let the jokes begin... What's the best thing about a Kennedy wedding? The way arriving guests like to make a big splash. They're ...

Laboratory Tests

Added 7/19/1999
Laboratory Tests Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly. 2nd Child: Why are you crying? 1st Child: I came here for a blood test. ...

Quotes 2

Added 7/16/1999
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. -Robin Williams Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as ...

Fortune Cookie

Added 7/15/1999
fortune cookie

Children 2

Added 7/13/1999
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort in the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids. After creating heaven and earth, God ...

Taco Bell

Added 7/12/1999
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, " Whoever can say liver and ...

Signs you are no longer a kid

Added 7/5/1999
30 Signs You Are No Longer A Kid...... 1.) You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. 2.) Your back goes out more than you do. 3.) You quit trying to hold your ...

 

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