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Six reasons computers must be female...

Six reasons computers must be female.. 6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner. 5. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 4. ...

What kind of puppies...

Hillary Clinton was walking the grounds of the White House when she came across a little boy with a litter of newborn pups. She asks the boy what kind of puppies they were. He ...

More Government Labels on Products

The board of health has proposed that warning signs be placed on booze bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of pounding a pint or two... 1. WARNING: ...

The TRUE story of Cinderella

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears and promises to provide ...

Roadblock

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a PO-lease roadblock!! We ...

The merits of a mistress

An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress. An artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. ...

Seminars

SEMINARS FOR FEMALES (prepared and presented by males) 1. Elementary Map Reading 2. Crying and Law Enforcement 3. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR 4. You ...

This guy was out hunting...

This guy was out hunting one day; he had all the gear, the jacket the boots and the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and it went off, ...

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar that ...

A local business was looking for office help

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be ...

After Bar Closing

One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble ...

Drinking on the Job

Drinking on the Job While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the premises, there are some good arguments for changing that policy. Reasons for ...

Sean was lyin' on his deathbed

Sean was lyin' on his deathbed with his lifelong friend by his side. "Paddy, me dear friend, ye remember that grand case o' scotch we won at poker when we were in the ...

MS Virgin

MICROSOFT VIRGIN Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin? Her first husband was in Training, and ...

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed, laminate, ...

Howard had felt guilty all day long

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But, every once in a while, ...

It's the Spring of 1957...

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. ...

Why Dogs Are Better Than Women...

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN Dogs love it when your friends come over. Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late. The later you are, the more excited dogs ...

TODDLER PROPERTY LAWS

TODDLER PROPERTY LAWS 1. If I like it, it's mine.. 2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's ...

Computer Camp

Billy, a good, normal ten-year-old boy, and his parents set down to select a summer camp for Billy. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the ...

AND THE YEAR'S BEST HEADLINES ARE...

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case ...

Origin of a Holiday Tradition

Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime ...

Florist

A local florist just went out of business, but it was his own fault. He kept getting his orders mixed up. One woman received flowers sent by her husband, who was at a business ...

Points to Ponder 2

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Isn't it a bit unnerving that ...

 

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